Help with mother

My mother is 85 and has primary progressive MS she has not come to terms with this. At the moment she is in a care home as she hit her carer she had at home. I have read some other posts regarding aggression and MS and sadly my mother is verbally and physicially aggressive, there is no getting though to her I cannot make her realise that her behaviour is the reason she is in a care home. There seems to be no help out there I constantly argue with the doctors who are useless have no idea how to treat her. She has made my life her carers and her own a misery is there any treatment to help her or is this it. Will she be like this till the end of her days?

Hi, sorry I can’t help. You would probably be better posting on the’ Caring for someone with ms ’ board.

So sorry to hear you are going through such a bad time. Given your mother’s age I wouldn’t think the aggression is necessarily MS. Dementia can also show itself as aggression. Have the doctors assessed her for age-related dementia? If she has not seen a dementia consultant I think you should insist on that. She could then be assessed for drug treatments that might help with the aggression. I really feel for you but sorry cannot think of any other advice. Take care…and please consider the dementia consultant. Pat xx

Hello, I’m very sorry to learn about your mother. I agree with Pat and would enquire about the possibility of dementia. After a lifetime of patience, tolerance and putting others first, my own mother turned very aggressive through dementia. This was heart breaking, especially for my father who was recovering from two strokes in quick succession. By definition PPMS is a more gradual process, even though it may go through stages where changes may occur. I hope you find some clarity soon. Best wishes, Steve.

I used to nurse elderly people and have to agree with the others, insist on getting her evaluated for dementia. Please don’t let her behaviour upset you, she’s not in control of her actions, it doesn’t make her a bad person and I’m disappointed that the staff haven’t had her assessed by now. It is nobody’s fault that mum is behaving like this. She needs to see the nurse and have a mental evaluation.

Cath xx

She has been assessed by the mental health team and its not dementia. Other than that really not sure what its going on.Thanks for the replies

Is there any chance your mum could have had or be having mini strokes or Transient Ischemic Attacks (TIA’s) as these could affect her behaviour? Any sort of stroke can completely change a person’s personality. That’s something I saw during my career. Just a thought. By the same reasoning, I wonder if she has lesions on her brain doing the same thing. Either way she wouldn’t be able to control her reactions. It’s probably bothering you a lot more than anyone else, including her. Your going to make yourself ill keeping worrying about it xxx

Hi, So sorry for all your troubles with your Mum. Lesions on the part of the brain that controls our aggression can certainly cause aggression . However the good news is that it can be controlled with medication…if your GP isn’t able to help you perhaps your Mums neurologist would be more help. If this is what is causing her problem then she is no more able to control it than she would be able to control catching flu. I do hope you get some satisfactory answers soon…is the care home knowledgeable about MS. Best wishes, Nina