German guy approaches one of the ladies of the night.
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‘I vish to buy zex vit shoo.’
‘OK,’ says the girl, ‘I’ll charge ?? 50 an hour.’
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‘…ist gutte, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky, ja?’
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‘No problem,’ she replies cautiously, ‘I can do a little kinky.’
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So off they go to the girl’s flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
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‘I vant zat you tie ze springs to each of your Hans und knees.’
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The girl finds this most odd, but complies, fastening the springs as he had said, to her hands and knees.
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‘Now you vill get on your Hans und knees.’
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She duly does this, balancing precariously on the springs.
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‘You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you.’
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She finds it odd, but figures it’s harmless (and after all, the guy is paying.)
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She finds the zex is fantastic, as she is bounced all over the room bythe energetic German, all the time honking on the duck caller.
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Her climax is the most sensational that she has ever experienced and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say,
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‘Wow!!! That was totally amazing, what do you call that position ?’
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‘Ah,’ says the German . . .'zat is ze…
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wait for it …
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Four-sprung Duck technique !!!
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat
down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,and hands it back.
‘Oh my, I am so sorry,’ the woman says as she pops her eye back in
place.
‘Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,’ she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and
he shares his…
She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast… They had a wonderful, wonderful time…
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings… The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
‘You know,’ he said, ‘you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?’
‘No,’ she replies. . .
Wait for it. .
It’s coming. .
The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?
She says:
‘You just happened to catch my eye.’ !!!