Feeling blue

Hi, I saw the ms nurse for the first time yesterday. She talked to me about my symptoms and how they are typical of ms. I stopped her and explained that I hadn’t been diagnosed yet etc that I thought there was still some hope of a viral cause. She told me that I was newly diagnosed as ms awaiting clinical confirmation or I develop some new symptoms ( I think I’ve got that right) When I asked why I felt pretty much the same as a year ago with ups and downs in between she said not everyone has remittance and asked my age 42, I now have her number and am to ring if I have any new symptoms I see the neuro in August and I’m having physio! I was crushed yesterday as I secretly had a hope that I was going to get better! I also have to face what the hell I’m going to do about work! I’m a primary school teacher nursery and reception, physically and mentally demanding but good holidays! I’m currently working part time as my return to work, they have offered me the option to go part time next year and I have to make that decision in a couple of weeks! My heart wants to go back full time my head thinks how will I cope I haven’t been offered another class which would be easier physically for me. I’m taking Gabapentin 300 mg 4 times a day Which helps a little. I’m very worried feel like I’m just waiting to get worse with no light at the end of the tunnel. PS I can’t really afford part time I had hoped to move house in the next two years an I’m married with two children 14 and 11 we all know how expensive they are!!

Hello Smurf, I’m new to this too and also a teacher (secondary). Money worries me but I’m more worried about being well and being able to care for my daughter (age 5). Don’t forget benefits kick in if your income drops below a certain level and that teaching has got to be one of THE most stressful and demanding jobs there is. Now at least I know why I was falling asleep with my daughter at 7pm and how stupid I was to then set the alarm for 3 to mark books. Bugger the books that’s what I say right now, I’ve worked myself sick and I don’t recommend that to anyone. xxx

Hi Smurf, I gave up working full-time as a teacher once I had children as I didn’t feel able to devote enough time to them with the hours expected of a primary teacher. In stead, I became a supply teacher which fitted in really well with home life but was still long days with four children at home! Life became more and more difficult at school as my MS symptoms developed. I had to stop working last March as my legs couldn’t take it any more! I was dx with PPMS in Dec 2011. I hope you manage to find a way through your problems and reach a solution that suits you. Remember that you have to put your health first though. I’m sorry that it seems as if the neuro has decided that you do have MS. It is a crushing blow when you first find out but take it a day at a time and try not to think about what ifs. There are many much worse neurological conditions that you can have. It seems that neuros see MS as one of the better ones to have! It may not seem like that at the moment. You may feel like you’re grieving (note the 5 stages of grief on google) and you are, for the person you used to be. Be kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to get used to the dx. Know that everyone on here understands how you feel right now and will always be ready to listen if you want to moan or rant and rave. Thinking of you, Teresa xx