Can't tell if it's symptoms or stress anymore..

New diagnosis and before diagnosis
1

Hey all,

I am a 25 year old woman. Around 6 or so months ago whilst shaving my legs, I couldn’t feel the razor as it reached my upper thighs. It was very frightening as I had no idea what was going on. I visited the doc, and he gave me a blood test which came back as normal. So I pretty much left it thinking the problem would go away by itself.

Sometimes though I wake up, go to make breakfast and feel like my legs are going to give way. This has only happened a few times, but it partly seems connected with my diet, which is poor.

This week, I have been experiencing brain fog (I feel like I’m sleeping with my eyes open - like I’d be perfectly happy to just simply stare ahead for hours and hours, thinking about absolutely nothing); slowed thinking; heavy limbs; trouble concentrating; occasional trouble speaking (sometimes when I speak I sound like a quiet mouse, like it’s hard for me to get words out); awful fatigue; (orange!?) diarrhea; constipation; disorientation, tingling, prickling sensations on my arms, legs, feet and hands; and slight muscle tremors (a couple tremors here and there each day usually lasting no longer than a min or so each). I have broken down into tears every day because I am so scared of what is happening to me…

I have felt numb/tingly in one side of my face this past day.
For as long as I can remember I have had Internuclear ophthalmoplegia.

I have wanted to call an ambulance because these symptoms are so odd to me, but I don’t know what to do.

I haven’t been in any real physical pain, haven’t had any visual disturbances or any bladder troubles, so I am clinging onto these as signs I may not have MS.

I saw a doctor in my boyfriends area (where I am staying currently), and without taking blood tests (he advised I see my local doc for that as he will know my medical history), and he did not seem to think it was MS. He told me that the symptoms I present aren’t common in MS patients of my age… (Is this even correct?!) He said it could be anaemia, stress, or kidney problems, but somehow I feel pretty certain I have MS.

I am just so very, very terrified. I spent all of my adult life until now battling a debilitating psychological condition which left me unemployed and sometimes housebound. This year started wonderfully with me getting my very first job and being able to travel more and earn my own money. FINALLY feeling independent and like I’m getting my life together. And now, I feel like I will spend the rest of my life with another condition which could set me back all over again but in a different way…

I can’t go for a day without crying so hard since the onset of these weird symptoms. I can’t go for a day without looking up MS symptoms online and feeling deathly afraid. I can’t go for a day without thinking about suicide. I still don’t know what is wrong with me, I know, but it has got to the point where I just don’t know how I would be nearly strong enough to live with MS if I do have it.

Does what I have sound like MS? I can be shaking, trembling, brain fogged to the max, tired and depressed and I don’t even know what’s stress or symptoms (or symptoms OF stress!) anymore…

I see my local family doctor on Friday and will hope for a referral to a neurologist.

2

Hi Shiller, I am sorry that you are feeling so low. You are doing the right thing seeking a neurological referral. There is clearly something going on which may or may not be MS. Many conditions mimic the symptoms of MS and need to be ruled out. Certain deficiencies like B12 and vitD can cause these symptoms and can be easily fixed. However, I understand your fears. We have all been there but MS is not the end of the world at all. There are far worse things than this. Most MSers have fulfilling lives. Please talk to your GP about your mental state too. You need help to get you through this. Please keep us in touch over your progress and feel free to moan to us on here. Teresa xx

3

Hi Shiller and welcome

It sounds like you’ve already had so much to deal with in your life and despite your self doubts, you have come through the other side, so please keep in mind that you’re clearly a far stronger person than you think you are.

It’s a good idea to jot down your main symptoms ready for when you see your Doc on Friday. As he may well decide to run some blood tests in the interim period don’t forget to mention things like the orange diarrhea because everything you can tell him will help to point him in the right direction.

The trouble with symptoms like fatigue, brain fog, sensory issues etc is that they can be associated with many conditions and ms is only one of them. I’m not sure why you’re so convinced that it is ms but try to keep an open mind.

Although most of us have all probably done it at some stage or another Googling our symptoms isn’t always a good idea - it can cause even more stress and anxiety worrying about something which we don’t actually know for fact. Stress alone can exacerbate symptoms without us even realising it and this will only make us feel worse. Plus it can scare the pants off us too - like it has done for you.

See your doc on Friday and go from there, take one baby step at at time and as hard as it is try not to worry about things like the future - concentrate on the now and take one day at a time.

Good luck Shiller and let us know how you get on when you get a mo’

Take care of you

Debbie xx

4

Hi Shiller. The worse part of being ill is sometimes not having a diagnosis, but you do need to keep an open mind about what is going on with you.

You are a remarkable young woman who has been through alot, and I am sending you a ((hug)) and just remember that you are amazing and how far you have come so far this year. Remind yourself of this on a daily basis.

Write out some questions and what’s going on with you for your appointment; that way you don’t forget to tell your drs about everything. If you get no answers from one doctor, move on and go see another doctor. It makes all the difference when someone finally listens to you.

Good luck, and as previous replies have said, let us know what happens. I am thinking of you xx

5

Hi Shiller - you can get through this, look at what you’ve already manged to achieve and get through.

As the others have said many things may contibute to the types of symptoms you have MS being only one of them. Try and keep and open mind when you go for your GP appointment friday but getting a neurology referral if possible would be a good idea. Be concise about your symptoms to keep the GP’s attention at the appointment.

Wishing you the best of luck. I know it’s a scary and stressful process - try to concetrate on what’s good - your partner, a job and earning. You have a lot going for you and whatever health issue you have don’t let it get the better of you.

Reemz

X

6

Thank you all so much for your warm responses.

I am scared today because I leaked a little in my underwear this morning and have been crying because I feel ever more convinced I have MS. I feel like my body is telling me something is very wrong and yet it’s so hard to convey this accurately to those around me. I am scared to go back home from my boyfriend’s because I feel like my parents will strongly refute my claims and call me ridiculous or silly.

My limbs feels heavy, and I feel incredibly weak and scared. I just want to know what to know what is going on in me. I want to go to hospital.

7

Apologies in advance if this is the wrong approach!

BUT…

I think you need to calm down.

Some of your symptoms are NOT consistent with MS and the ones that are consistent also occur in literally hundreds of other conditions, many of which are not serious.

Many of your symptoms could be explained by poor diet and the corresponding deficiency in vitamins and minerals. A thorough blood screen could reveal that all you need to do is take a supplement to make things better!

Stress and anxiety make existing symptoms worse and can create new symptoms all on their own. Leave google alone unless it’s to look for good news stories (e.g. all the people with MS who have run marathons and achieved other amazing things)!

Even if it does turn out to be MS, why would you be thinking about suicide?! MS is not fatal. MS is nowhere near as bad as many conditions. Most MSers live happy, long lives. Sure, things are different with MS, but it is NOT the end of the world!

So, deep breaths, take it slow, see your GP on Friday and take it from there, one day at a time.

If you aren’t coping, phone NHS Direct (0845 4647) - they will advise whether or not you should go to A&E.

You have got through tough times before. You will this time too. YOU WILL BE OK.

Karen x

8

Thank you so, SO much Karen… I cannot explain how much I need a grounding approach like yours. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
And please, if anyone thinks I am even being outright stupid, please DO tell me. I will NOT be offended. Conversely, tears of relief would stream down my cheeks as they have just done. I have a tendancy to be a very erratic, horrifically nervous, hysterical creature.

Suicide has been on my mind because I have never lived independently, and the world alone frightens me.
I’ve had problems enough trying to cope without any illness thoughout my life, and just as I feel like I am gaining a tiny bit of independence, the thought of getting ill again scares me.

I will try to hold tight until I see the doctor. Thank you again. x

9

Hi Shiller - you are on the right site for a bit of support and grounding. You are clearly very worried about what is wrong with you and quite rightly you want to know. I can only agree with what Karen has said and I’m glad you’ve taken that well. I just wonder if you would like to look at this website which explains neurological symptoms which are very real but are not due to disease: www.neurosymptoms.org

Let us know how you get on and please please know that you absolutely will cope with this and will come through it.

Take care, Deb

10

Yesterday was very… eventful.

I went to my GP, told him all my symptoms, and broke down in tears, hyperventillating, dizzy, disoriented and just plain falling to pieces. I found it hard to talk about my suicidal feelings but felt it was important to note being as they are very strong. My doctor (who has been my family doctor since my birth), seemed to be visibly upset that I was in such a state as he’d never seen me feel so bad. He outright told me I don’t have MS… (How he knows? I have no idea).

I was taken to A&E and taken a look at by people who checked my physical and psychological health. My blood and urine tests all came back fine but I am being monitored by my local mental health team and possibly being put on a programme to help my depression.

I think I am being treated like a hypochondriac…
On one hand, I can understand why: I have been spending 6 hours a day at least looking up symptoms online and enduring frequent outbursts of near-hysterical crying. However, the MS-like symptoms I am going through are very real and I feel they should be taken seriously.

The thing is, I am no closer to knowing whether or not I have MS at all. If anything I am more confused. My blood tests coming back fine has just confused me all the more (does this rule out anemia, pernicious anemia and vitamin B12 difficiency? All things which carry symptoms similar to MS?) I still don’t even know what’s wrong with me, but it seems that my depression has made it to the forefront of importance which will no doubt make the path for MS tests an even rockier one.

I am still thankful that help is at hand for my psychological problems; I am finding it very hard to cope.

11

Shiller, you openly admit to having pyschological problems which is something that most people could never admit to themselves let alone anyone else. But you have and the result of that is you’ll now get some help on how to cope with your depression.

I don’t think the docs are dismissing your other symptoms but they do have to start somewhere and they definitely can’t ignore the fact that you frequently have suicidal thoughts.

As myself and others have said, try to stop the googling because it’s clearly not helping you. Put ms out of your mind and just try to deal with one thing at a time which at the moment is getting your depression under control.

It’s clear that you’ve got through some really tough times in the past which proves that you can get through it this time round. Reemz is right - you’ve achieved an incredible amount already, so you already know it’s possible to achieve even more and get what you want from life. Keep reminding yourself of this.

I’m sending you ((((hugs)))) Shiller

Debbie xx