So when having ms we all know being ill can be dificult our symptoms can return or worsen.
Im struggling to put my body first in my recovery from a cold because i am still coming to terms with my body and how it now fights off any infection or virus as i currently have a chest infection.
Before being diagnosed with ms i was pretty healthy and always pushed myself.
I grew up thinking if you can stand you can work if you can watch tv you just need to get on with it i dont know how to think any differently.
I work a 37.5 hour week i have a very active job i ride my electric bike 4 times a day 5 days a week all year round and i am inside and outside in all weather. Im always moving i never stop at my work but i am starting to realise it is too much for me.
Im currently sick with a chest infection i started with what felt like the first signs of a cold 2 to 3 weeks ago and ignored it. I then felt really rubish last monday. my family, partner and friends told me to take monday off work as i looked shocking to them over the weekend i didnt want to. I did cave as they where all insistent i didnt go back too soon and stayed at home for 1 day then felt guilty and wrong for staying off as i could do stuff i just felt rubish was struggling to walk a little bit, more fatigued and a slight temprature but nothing major and normal what i would call managable flue like symptoms. I went back to work the next day as i felt a bit better and couldnt justify being off any longer I in my words āwas just being a wussā.
Fast forward its tuesday the week after and i am struggling breathing, have a chesty cough, coughing up rubbish, lost my voice and feel lousy with all of my ms symptoms agrivated and have been put on a cource of antibiotics. Im still feeling like i should go back into work tomorrow though as i can walk or at least in my head i keep thinking i can untill i try and my brain is working fine so why carnt i work.
Logically im thinking if i had just stayed off to fully recover the first time i probably wouldnt be in this mess and also i am logically saying dont make the same mistake again going back into work too quickly. On the flip side my mind is like you need to go back you look weak, people wont respect you, work coligues will think your flakey, you have no reason to be off work its just a cold, work will be looking to get rid of you, work will think your no longer reliable, work will lower your hours because you carnt cope meaning you will loose pay and your allready struggling on your sole income.
I know i need to change my mind set or i will run myself into worse situations but i dont know how and wonder if anyone else has the same problem?
Work has made all the adustments they can and are really supportive of me they never pressure me and are understanding of my ms diagnosis i am probably one of the most reliable staff members they have and they do allot to help me so i dont know why i feel like this.
Im due my tysabri infusion this friday and have to be well for that or it could mean it will be delayed. I have got in touch with my team as i know antibiotics can interfear but there happy to go ahead luckily.
Any advice though on my mindset over illness and work would be greatly apreciated as its exausting and hard to try wrestle these stupid thoughts.