Different Types of Poo
Ghost Poo- You know you’ve pooed. There’s poo on the toilet paper but none in the toilet.
Teflon Poo- Comes out so slick, clean and easy you don’t even feel it. No trace of it on the toilet paper. You have to look in the bowl just to be sure you did it.
Gooey Poo- This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe 12 times and you still don’t come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don’t stain it. This poo leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Poo- You’re all done wiping and you’re about to stand up when you realize it…you’ve got more.
Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poo- This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn’t want to come out until you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from the strain.
Weight Watchers Poo- You poo so much, you lose several kilograms
Right Now Poo- You better be within 30 seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber getting to the toilet. It usually has its head out before you can get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker Poo- This one is so big you know it won’t go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger works well. This kind of poo happens at other peoples houses.
Cork Poo- Even after the third flush, its still floating in the bowl. Just leave it there. ( also known as “Floaters”)
Wet Cheeks Poo- This poo hits the water sideways and makes a big splash that gets you all wet.
Wish Poo- You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.
Cement Block Poo- (with extra blue metal) You wish you’d had a spinal block before you pooed.
Snake Poo- This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least 3 foot long.
Beer and Meat Pie poo or After-grog Bog- This happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn’t smell too bad, but this one is BAD… Usually this happens at someone else’s house and there is someone waiting to use the toilet after you.
Mexican Food Poo- You’ll know it’s alright to eat again when you bum stops burning.