I was talking to my auntie on the phone last week. She is my late mum`s younger sister by 12 years. She is 73 and has always been a fun, outgoing person.
We lost my mum and dad 12 years ago. Auntie is sooo like my mum and it comforts me to talk to her.
But she is suffering very badly, with COPD. I cant go visit her, as the access isn`t at all suitable for me in my wheelie. i asked her to come visit me at home.
She told me how bad she is and going shopping leaves her totally knackered. Even going to bed is too much for her, as she lives in a regular house. She is becoming house/bed bound and this is making her miserable.
So, I mentioned trying a scooter or wheelchair from Shopmobility. She flatly said, I am NOT doing that! I mentioned a stair lift. Same reply.
She knows all about my situation and fast progression. She said, How do you cope? Howcome you are always upbeat and positive? I told her how I see these mobility aids as my friends. How I would be without them. I dont want to be stuck indoors forever and just watch the world go by, past my window.
I do have my down days…of course I do!
As I often try to help folk see the benefit of my experience, it saddens me when stubborness rules an otherwise, very happy head!
My mum was very similar and one of her sisters the same. My mum very rarely used a wheelchair and used to sit in the car while we went out for a walk by the sea. She refused to admit she was ‘disabled’, even though for the last 6 years of her life she had home helps doing cleaning and us family cooking meals and washing her hair so that dad could still go to work.
I have been determined not to be the same and am very lucky with my disability equipment. I try to go out on the buggy as much as I can as I know I would be very depressed if I couldn’t get out. It’s about seeing the glass half full in stead of half empty.
It’s sad that your aunt has this attitude as it only stops her from having a good life, it may be pride that is the culprit.
Poll, l hate to except the offer of help - however well meaning it is. Yes, l am stubborn. First the walking stick - oh my - how l hated anyone see me use it. l pushed my daughters pushchair for ages after she was quite able to manage without - because l knew l could not balance without. Then the first of many scooters - it was only the fact that l could get out and about and get to my horses and take the dogs with me that overcame the ‘embarrassment’.
After a few years of coming down the stairs on my bum - and going up on hands and knees - did l give in and realise the difference a stair-lift would make.
Now - just as you say Poll - these ‘gadgets’ have become my best friends.
[along with my spc]
Now l am ‘wonder woman’ with all the technology. A force to be reckoned with. Just like Boudica!!
l live in a pretty little rural village - complete with village pub and village green - with flagpost - and now the parish councillors have put up 4 signs - saying NO HORSES NO BALL GAMES. What an eyesore - Never seen any horse step on the green. And certainly there is no evidence of any. So this morning after the Remembrance Service [ kept always to the 11th hour 11th day 11th month as it should be] all the councillors attended - so l emailed one of them and said l hope they upheld the notices and did not play with their balls. And as for the No Horses - l would like them to uphold the historic tradition of keeping the ‘horseway’ across the green - as it was a century ago when horse drawn wagons carrying salt from Droitwich Spa travelled down to the railway. l HAVE NO SHAME!
Hi polly, i too find that the aids i use are my friends, without my little scooter that i use on public transport i wouldnt have been able to do the ms collection at the railway station last thursday then i went to the markets and did some shopping.
I have a big scooter (both bought second hand) that gets me to the shopping centre i have teddys all bees piglet in a bee costume and tigger too, people stop and speak to me kids look at the bees and im not so invisable as i would be without them on the basket.
i have other things that without them i would be totaly dependant on my family, really these things are there to help its such a shame your aunty cant see that it may give her back some of the freedome her illness has taken away.
COPD and 73…that’s a tough one. Do you think she might be a little bit depressed Poll? Any home care? I supose you just have to keep trying to persuade your auntie. I am very stubborn…I’m just getting used to my walking stick, hate all this dependency lark. Hope things work out,
I am 48 and my parents are 77. I have had to use mobility aids for a couple of years but when I mention a stick or hearing aid to my parents, they won’t hear of it and are horrified at the thought. They are quite happy for me to use them though! Teresa xx
Hi Teresa, thought youd got your finger stuck to the post button! Yeh, it is odd that your parents are like that.......probably thinking you are still their little girl and they have to advise you, bless em!
Hi Blossom, not sure if aunty is already on anti-depressants. I have to tread carefully (if only), as past experience told me she`ll only take so much advice and then bang! she lets me know I am the niece and she is the aunty, bless her. Her daughter, my cousin, does some housework and shopping for her.
Hi Barbara, it`s great to know you are using your mobility aids to the full and are geting so much enjoyment out of them.
Hi Frances, you are Wonder Woman indeed! You are a fountain of knowledge and are always there to help someone understand what can help them in a difficult situation.
Hi Wendy, Im glad to hear you are not following your mums example of being like er indoors! Go girl!
Hi Jen, good to hear you and Pixiedust are enjoying getting out and about.
I seem to be suffering from this stubbornness too as I am extremely reluctant to use my newly aquired and long awaited wheelchair but I have no clue why ! Krissy xx
I totally second what Poll says, I am sure you will find the benefit. My wheelie is always at my beck and call, I would be housebound without it, and thats no good.