Telling the children - Advice please

Everyday living
22

wow interesting!

my youngest 2 kids were 2/3 so have grown up with my issues. oldest 2 were 10/12. i didnt tell them there was nothing to worry about cos there was! but talking with them now ages 20 and 22 they say i handled it right for us. i was honest completely saying how difficult and unpredicatable ms (or macaroni as we labelled it!) they asked me if i was going to die. of course everyone does but no earlier cos of ms. they are now all old enough to know that choking is a factor and spasms in throat/breathing but we all know (an do!) deal with that when it happens. i think the worst thing is telling them not to worry but not explaining why. oh and not to believe owt on internet or random folk who think they are helping cos only i have the answers for my ms. this trust/honest thing takes months/years so be prepared!

you know your children. i done what i thought was right for us all-you will too.

ellie x

23

Hi Tracey

I have 3 kids who were 3, 7 and 9 when i was dxd. i read the children’s books given by the MS soc, which were great (‘my daddy makes the best boats’ if i remember rightly), and there is a teen comic-style for older kids which my 9 year old devoured, but the 7 year old was non-plussed.

The little one obviously didn’t understand properly, therefore it wasn’t/ isn’t a big issue for her- quite the contrary i had to avoid being tripped up by her when coasting around the house. hilarious japes indeed!

for the older two, I reinforced to them that im not going to die and its not infectious, and they are not going to die from it either. I told them that they can ask me any question at any time, as theres a lot to take in. as i walk with a crutch outside of the home, i didn’t make a big issue that they had to walk with me as kids are naturally more concerned with their appearances.

the bottom line was no pressure from either side. they are aware of my symptoms and are excellent at accommodating them.

my kids tell their friends quite easily that i have ms when they ask why i walk with a crutch, and are happy to talk to others about it.

as a teacher, ms was impossible to hide (slurred speech, use of crutch, fatigue etc.) and most of my students have been thoughtful, caring and considerate. kids are generally a lot more resilient that we give them credit for

i hope this helps, cheers fluffyollie xx

1 Like
24

Did anyone get it wrong when telling the kids??

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25

Told mine when they were about 9 and 10. about 10 years ago. They’d noticed changes in me.

Before internet access so they couldn’t google. MS nurse offered to be with me when I told them.

All ok, they keep asking questions and now I am very open with them.

Now they are so helpful around the home and when we go out they encourage me to use a scooter/stick/wheelchair to make my life easier.

Be open with them, then they will accept it and ask questions.

keep well,

Jen xx