One Foot in Limboland

I’ve recently had another bout of tingling cheek and fake-scalded tongue, random stabbing pains and a slower, rather meandering gait. Oh…and some involuntary movements that are a bit embarrasing to do whilst walking down tbe street. Thank goodness those don’t happen often!

It’s the tingling though, that never quite goes entirely away but comes back in waves, along with dizziness and fatigue.The changes to my walking have me concerned most of all - the more I walk, the worse they get. So here I am, for the third time, waiting for my neurology appointment to come through.

I miss feeling simply peaceful. I get rare glimpses of that these days. I miss practicing Reiki professionally. I’m doing some for myself but to be honest, I’ve lost my confidence. I relate to others with FND but not as much as I do to you folk on here.

My CFS/ME group OT has given me some wonderful tools and advice which are helping, but also suggested I stop searching and use forums less, which feels off to me. I need to know what I am testing positive for (there are a few examination tests for FND) and what the structural changes in my brain are.

Every time my symptoms flare up badly, these questions swirl around my head. I hope I don’t have to wait too long for this next neuro. It’s just draining. Will I ever get rid of this dizziness and tingling? Will I ever be able to go for long, peaceful walks in the woods without feeling awful afterwards? I know it could be much worse and I’m grateful it isn’t but I can’t help feeling rather sorry for myself today.(on a happier note, I did treat myself to a new downloaded album yesterday. Music helps)