[quote=“Candyfloss41”]
It’s all to much now to be honest. [/quote]
Your ex sounds dreadful and you deserve so much more. Your last comment has me worried Karen, are you thinking of harming yourself? Please don’t, you have friends here now
No I’m not going to harm myself. I would like to but I HAve my little house rabbit to look after and I have no one to care for him now if I went to hospital and I would never let him down. Plus I guess I have learnt a lesson that your health is so so so vital If I find out from neuro chap that this baclifen drug did cause this demyelination then I will hate myself even more. What an idiot! My little rabbit is another reason well the main one I won’t get a puppy yet. My dog was an angel with her and they were very happy. But my rabbit is six in a couple weeks I guess he has the right to enjoy his golden years in peace? I mustn’t put my selfish desires BEFOre him. He has stood by me thro all this sadness. I feel I would be betraying him. I desp would like a dog yes. But my rabbit is the only thing I have in the world and I won’t upset him I’m so worried about all this. I have looked into this dignitas place that is where I must go soon BEFOTE I’m not capable getting there
I’m glad you are not thinking of harming yourself Karen, you had me worried there .
I certainly wouldn’t get a dog whilst you have your rabbit - is he one of the giant house rabbit - love those what’s his name?
I saw this for the first time today - I hope it helps you - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifzuqz7lUu8
p.s. there’s loads of meditation videos on YouTube, might be helpful for you to try some of them out?
Hi Candyfloss,
I am going to be pretty blunt here…
You are NOT on the slippery slope to extreme disability. The boomerang sign as I said before is a sign that can be caused by a few different things but NOT MS and NONE of the causes of the boomerang sign are dangerous or lasting. It will pass without the need for serious medical intervention. You are going to be FINE.
I have had MS for 10 years and I do use an electric scooter and I do need home help and assistance with a lot of things but there is no way I woud think of heading off to Dignitas and yet most people consider me pretty badly disabled by the MS. Today my daughter and I had a great time down at the local lake, me whizzing around on my scooter and her running around and playing on the flying fox. Being disabled is NOT the worst thing in the world at all…
But you have got a severe case of anxiety and depression and you do need to get that sorted. Dwelling on having MS is not helping you at all and filling your head with doomsday scenarios about going to Dignitas is making you feel worse,
Life is full of choices. I was in a very dark place many years ago and a friend told me that I had a choice to continue to be depressed and to make my life miserable or to take action to turn things around for myself. I chose the latter. You can too. It is about choice and it is up to you.
Why don’t you make an appointment with your counsellor and print off this thread and take it in with you to give her an idea of where your head has been over the last few days?
Truly, these awful dark times are bleak and feel pointless but there IS light out there and you CAN find it.
But the first step is accepting that neurologically you do NOT have MS. The twitching eye is a very common symptom of anxiety, migraines DO start for lots of women in their 40’s and the MRI results are actually quite reassuring in that it is a brief, transient thing that will cause no lasting or permanent damage. But you have to believe that.
B
To possum saver thank you for your kind words. I Admire u beyond belief how u cope x. You sound like u had a lovely time with your little girl. I don’t know how u cope but I guess having children changes things? I have no children sadly but I guess if I did wild horses wouldn’t take me away from my child I would fight til the end. But I’m sure u have days whete you wonder how u keep going and how unfair it is? God bless u and your family x
To an u. Thank you too for your help. My rabbit is called sage and he is a little Dutch rabbit. He lives indoors at night and when it’s cold but rest time he runs free range in garden. He is currently sat under a bush in the sun! He was a rescue rabbit who had his tail cut off by children. And was said to be antisocial and aggressive on his cage. He is the dearest most loving little thing u could hope for. Do we know what causes this demyelination then if not ms? I have seen epilepsy or some brain thing may do but I have neither of those? If it is this boomerang innocent thing why didn’t my g p tell me this? She said demyelination meant ms was high on list of things it could be? Re my cpn she discharged me last year as more they can do but g p rang her TUESDSY as she thought I needed support all she could do was offer a 15 min phone call and that’s it. As she said ages ago there is only enough money in the Nhs pot. Which is true. It’s a case of trying to cope on my own which I do try to. I love my pets I like gardening and I binge eat. It keeps me out of hospital But this worry has knocked me sideways- yes if I had a partner I wouldn’t be do worried but I have no one. I loved this man very much despite he only saw me once a week or so do I could ’ pleasure’ him We weren’t allowed to have sex more than bout four times a year. If i wuestion it im ’ moaning’ anx no wonder he will never be eith me. It was all bout him. Then he kicked me out right after I LITERALLY mean right afyer. No cup of t or anything. The rule was I came up at ten am he would time it on his watch how long I had to do it for usually til 1130 then I was out the doir one min later. Yes I was refer women’s aid but they said I was the only WOMAM they had met who wanted to go back into an anusive relationship so couldn’t help me. Which is fair enough This man has a g f of four years but he only sees her on a Saturday which is odd too and of course claims they don’t have sex either but brags how he lays naked to her with his massive erection and when I cry tells me im pathetic and need to sort myself out But it was nice to go and see him and he said if I kept doing it one day we would be allowed to have sex and he may LEABE her
Is it normal my tingling in foot usually goes when I walk? If it was ms would if be there all the time or no? My hands sometimes tingle too but not very much and usually mainly the left one. Isn’t it odd my right hand side leg between knee and ankle had loss sensation for four months? It worried me. These things don’t just happen do they? And this blessed eye twitching! Well
How do I know how many lesions I have? The mri said ’ a focal area of hyperintensity on the splenium of corpus callosum’ that wasn’t enhanced with that dye stuff Does this mean just one area of demyelination or are there lots of lesions? Have I got this clinically isolated syndrome then? It says u are 70 p c likely to get ms if u hand this? My heart is pounding I feel so scared so scared. I just can’t wait to see the consultant. I got so many questions But if it was nothing to worry about why does he want to see me? Also my scam was sent away to Plymouth hospital where another doctor looked at them? Why couldn’t my local hospital read them then? It’s freaking me out
This drug baclofen I over dosed on 15 times IS used as an anti epileptic drug which could be a sign of the hyperintensity in my corpus callosum. So I have messed up my brain and given myself ms? Is anyone a doctor on here pls?
OK OK ENOUGH Candyfloss.
You are working youself up into a full blown panic attack here. Now, DEEEEEEEEP breath.
OK, 1) Baclofen is NOT used to treat epilepsy. It was historically first formulated for that purpose but is very ineffectual so nowadays it is NOT prescribed for epilepsy. If you have been prescribed it in the absence of any spasticity which it is usually prescribed for I am thinking you may have been prescribed it for anxiety. Is this correct? Some people also use it as a street drug because in high doses it can cause a high. It can also be prescribed to treat anxiety and alcohol dependency. If a person ODs on it with alcohol yes, they may as a result have a seizure. If this is the case you MUST tell your Drs about this if you haven’t already told them about the ODing…
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Boomerang sign on the corpus callosum MAY be as a result of a lack of oxygen as a result of a seizure. But if this is the cause of the signal on the MRI it is NOT MS. I repeat, this is NOT MS. It WILL get better. It is no big deal. The neuro wants to see you because ALL specialists have to follow up a patient when they have ordered tests to explain the results to stop them panicking as you are now. Boomerang sign NEVER appears as part of MS. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER
I hope that is clear enough, Candyfloss? -
You can NOT give yourself MS, there is nothing to suggest you have MS.
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Ring your GP right NOW and get an urgent appointment and tell him your fears. This is getting out of hand and you are doing yourself no good.
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We are NOT doctors. We can NOT help you any more than this. But you do need to listen to the excellent advice you have received in over 40 replies… All of which advise the same thing. See your GP about your anxiety.
B
No I was prescribed the baclofen for my back. It is also used as a muscle relaxant. I have four slipped discs. I have seen the g p for four years and cpns, yes I have been diagnosed severe anxiety four years ago but I also have another severe mental health issue which apparently no drugs will treat. I have seen several psychtrists who have said no drugs just recommended me for talking therapy. Which I completed and in that time over dosed more than ever as did the others in the group. Hence she discharged last September said to contavt if I’m in crisis which I did many times recently. Twice no one got back me that day another time a guy recommended I go for a walk and that feeling the wind in my face would make me feel better??? I walk four hours a day every day I never miss I don’t need to walk anymire! Yes I walk where no one sees me. TUESDSY when gp rang her she called me back for short while then that’s it. I have to manage on my own- it’s no good running to cridis teams. Gp. Cpn. They give u half hour if you’re lucky then you are back home alone for rest of day Yes I tried evening classes online dating social media sites. Advertised in local paper for men and women as friends. Advertised in pet stores if dog owners wanted to make friends. Joined walking groups but it was all pensioners who didn’t speak. Even put phone number on strangers cars in car parks if I liked look if them! Tried trace family tree make friends with cousins etc Believe me if I had a pound fir every good meaning person who suggested joining a club… Joined a gym but all I could go was walking machine cos of back Went swimming. No one spoke Went dog training classes mainly older people or couples I’m just a funny age most people my age got kids jobs husbands I’m too young for pensioners and too old for young people! Trued volunteering but failed crb check so no one wants to know the volunteer manager told be to stop applying as no one would touch me Tried to walk dogs at dogs trust they wouldn’t have me I gotta except I gonna be alone forever and I got my head around that cos one DSY I will buy Anither dog but I NEED to be able to get around to order food online and wash myself wtc as I literally don’t have no one in the world My neighbour don’t speak. No one in road speaks. Thank you all very much for your help and patience. I’m coming off the site now as I worry things will get nasty as I kniw I’m trying your patience and someone will snap in a minute I wish u ALL well and pray things go well for u. Take care of yourselves and if I have learnt anything in 41 years never lose your friends or family and children are a blessing. X
hi candyfloss karen
i got diagnosed the week before my 50th birthday. (i said a sarcastic thank you for my birthday present)
that was 2008 and i’m still walking and i’m not blind.
anyway some people have canine helpers which could be just the job for you.
smile at every morning, you’re alive and will be fine.
carole x
Hi Candyfloss,
Now here’s a silly question: All these people who “don’t speak”, have you EVER tried speaking to them first?
You see, it’s very rare that anyone will cut someone dead, who has approached them first, in a polite and friendly way. I simply cannot believe that ALL your neighbours, and all the “oldies” on the walk just ignored you when spoken to. So I’m guessing you have not tried speaking to them?
I have been on just the kind of walk you’re talking about, this very morning. There were probably about a dozen of us. Not many - if any - less than 20 years older than me.
But do you know, I think I’ve spoken to almost all of them! You don’t have to start with anything particularly profound or imaginative. Mostly, I’ve approached someone else who seems to be walking without a companion, and said something quite straightforward and unoriginal, like: “Haven’t we been lucky with the weather this morning?” (We were!)
A question is good, because it invites an answer. Most people CANNOT ignore a direct question, even if it’s only about the weather. So they will answer with: “Yeah, much better than it has been…”, or some such. And you are in conversation! If you are embarrassed or shy to talk about yourself, ask about them! Again, very few people don’t like a (polite) expression of interest about themselves or their lives. It’s a bit corny too, but very basic stuff, like: “Have you been on many of these walks?” If they’ve been on any you haven’t, you’ve got an opening: “Oh, what’s that one like, then? Is it nice over there? How long/difficult is that walk?”
They will normally quite freely tell you about things they’ve seen, things that happened on the walk, whether they enjoyed it or not.
Once you get to a certain age, it doesn’t matter that people are older/younger than you! If you’re not going to make the effort, because they are 60, and you are 41, then sorry, but you are discriminating, and you are not going to get to learn anything about them or their lives, and you are closing the door on people who might be both interesting and friendly!
You’re not going on a date with them, so it doesn’t matter about the age-gap. You don’t have to become bosom pals, and spend all your time round each other’s houses. You just want some ordinary, non-threatening social interaction. So try speaking to someone, instead of thinking they all owe you a duty to speak to you first!
It can be the simplest of openings. Even some (positive) comment about somebody’s clothes or gear: “Your shoes look great for this! Are they comfy?” Or something you’ve spotted, but they haven’t: “Oh look, a butterfly resting!”
You do NOT have to be the world’s greatest, most confident conversationalist, to have a go, at this level.
And you are quite articulate in writing, so I don’t think you don’t know any words.
Give it a go! If you say: “Isn’t it a nice day?”, nobody’s going to ignore, you, or say: “S*d off!”. Certainly not on an organised social activity like a walk, anyway. They’re there at least partly for the company, too, and not to trudge along in silence.
Tina
Routine, routine, routine.
Stick to it. And make a note of which individuals you come across regularly. Then engage them in conversation and let nature take its course.
Whatever you do, don’t stop doing something/going somewhere because you feel it is unfriendly/cliquey, whatever. Just persevere. As they say, the only rule for success is showing up…
Hi Candyfloss,
The lovely people on here have given you lots of good advice. It’s unclear whether you will return, hopefully you will and we would all wish for you to be in a less faught frame of mind.
Please consider calling our helpline- the number is below. Sometimes it’s good just to talk things through. The helpline staff sit quite near me and I can assure you they are not only lovely, but very experienced and knowledgeable. Give it a whirl, you have nothing to lose.
Free MS Helpline 0808 800 8000
Kind regards
Stewart (admin)