Has anyone gone against medical advice and got a job?

Everyday living
21

Ah well, saying he wouldn’t support you in finding work is not quite as strongly worded as saying you can’t, or mustn’t.

It still leaves the final decision up to you, but I can understand him saying he will not actively support something he doesn’t personally believe is in your best interests. It puts him in a bit of a dilemma, doesn’t it, as he might end up having to lie. If a prospective employer requests a medical report, how can he write: “This person is fit for work, and I support it”, if that’s not his opinion? The best he could do would be to say he doesn’t wish to comment, but then they’ll read between the lines anyway, and wonder why he’s so reticent.

I don’t think many employers will ask for medical reports anyway, and if they do, it can only go ahead with your consent, but you would obviously know not to point them in the direction of your neuro, because he’s not going to say: “Yes, I fully endorse this”.

Anyway, all this is by-the-by. I’m still not convinced your motives for considering the world of work are the right ones, because it sounds to me as if the main reason is bullying - basically, you’d be handing control of your life to the bullies. If they say: “Jump!”, you say: “How high?” These are not well-meaning friends and family, urging you to better yourself, but people you admit are “against you”, so why would you base major life decisions on anything they have to say?

It sounds as if you have a nice volunteering job, which is far from worthless - I’m sure these places couldn’t keep running without an army of volunteers. How dare anyone say it’s lazy, pointless, or worthless? You’re giving time and effort for free, which I’m sure is more than they do. Try to put some distance between them and you - they’re not your pals. If they pump for information, don’t give it, or even better, make sure it’s always positive. “Oh yes, it’s been really busy and interesting at the National Trust this year, and it’s working out really well.” Don’t give them stuff they can use against you, like: “No change, really; I’m still living on benefits.”

It’s not fibbing, but it’s promoting your version of events - not the one they’re trying to stick on you. Your line to them will never be that you feel bored or worthless - it will always be how rewarding your work is, and how glad you are to have this amazing opportunity to get involved. It doesn’t matter if, secretly, you don’t always feel that way - the key thing is, you don’t tell them that.

Tina

x

1 Like
22

Getting paid work (even were you able, which you probably aren’t) would not earn the approval of those people, folksongs, and you know that really, I am sure.

Learning to not give a fig for their approval is the thing to aim for. Please don’t beat yourself up for not having a paid job because your health is so poor. It is hard work, growing a thicker skin, but a thicker skin is what you need so that you can concentrate on the things that nourish your heart and soul and stop wasting precious energy worrying about what types like that think of you.

Rail against the unfairness of ill-health and its consequences by all means - you have cause enough! - but do not waste a single tear on the unkindness of ignorant people, and do not let them set unrealistic goals for you.

Alison

4 Likes
23

Thanks Tina, that’s good advice. I will try not to let them get to me xxx

24

wonder if you’ve considered talking to someone at your local job centre who could give you advice.

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25

I really wouldn’t advise that. They may suddenly decide you are fit to work on virtually no evidence and may move you off the support group into the work group for ESA (if this applies to you). Better to get some impartial advice as other people have suggested: CAB etc. Better yet, reread through some of the excellent replies above. You have enough to contend with health wise and are lucky enough to have a voluntary job you enjoy doing (and I understand the long cold boring winter problem). Anyone who doesn’t understand you and who judges your right to benefits is quite simply misguided and/or plain wrong. And let’s face it, your personal financial business is just that: personal.

Sue

2 Likes
26

Greetings. Lots of great advice on this topic. The best advice I’ve personally had, is. With a diagnosis of MS, it’s time to become a Rhino. Get thick skin & plough through all the different versions that most people have already decided. Your life, is not their life. Enjoy it how you choose. Agenda is rife.

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27

Thanks for the advice xxx

28

I have never been given the option not to work and I wouldn’t know how. The DWP make it impossible not to work and I shall carry on regardless. If anyone has any tips let me know.

Mark