I need to offload and get others’ thoughts please?
My other half is a good man. A kind man. A man who is working all the hours he has to make our future a better one.
A man who won’t talk about feelings etc.
Get the picture?
He won’t talk about the MS and how it is affecting me. He has said in the past, when pushed, he can’t fix me so he doesn’t like talking about it. I understand that. However. I find that very lonely. My family are the same. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Except my good friends on here.
I suffer badly from depression caused by plaques in the brain, not as a reaction to having MS. That is a huge battle and I am on medication.
I have felt quite lucky. Until 6 months ago the MS affected my lower half only. I could cope with that. Now it is affecting my upper half in different ways. I am riddled with chronic pain. Can’t take Gabapentin Amytriptylene or Pregablin for other health reasons. Trying Pregabalin in small doses now but not good.
Two days ago I wanted to try and explain to him how the MS has evolved and how it is affecting me now. Not that I was giving up but that it was different. I think he thinks I just suffer from fatigue!!
Answer. What can I do about it??
When pushed he also said.
I was in danger of letting the MS define me. I talked about it too much. It affects everything I do.
Not to excuse myself when we are with other people. (sometimes when having difficulty with speech I explain that it is the MS, especially to new people).
That although it is hard. I have to understand that most people dont give a damn about my problems or anyone else’s. They have enough of their own.
That when I am too tired to go out with him others don’t understand that I am too tired to be there. They are sick of that excuse. Hard, but there it is.
I am left wounded, hurt and even more alone. Where do I go from here?
Thanks for reading.
ps I do feel sometimes that I am losing myself to this damned disease. I can understand a little of that reasoning of his.