Because of MS I now work part time and am limited to what I can do…can no longer write etc…the choice of choosing work is gone! What is now a distant dream for you?
i had a career that i started late in life.
i really enjoyed it and the pay was beyond my wildest imaginings
but i have settled well into my medical retirement.
the most distant dream is to travel the world which i can’t afford on my pension
i have adjusted this dream to travelling the uk - but again have to do it in small bits
i’m going back to festival number 6 at portmeirion in september.
if you’ve never been to portmeirion thats a beautiful place
distant dream of mine… being able to walk,my ms has left me unable to do the things that able bodied people take so much for granted,ok i can go out on my scooter when up to it,or use my w/c…but how i would love to wake up,one morning ,get my self ready and set off out anywhere,under my own steam, i lost my indepndance a while back,but miss it so much…
Hi, I am much the same…had a good career shortened, unable to run round with or take my grandkids out for some special just me and them time.
No car of my own to pootle off in, whenever the whim took me.
But there are still lots of things I can do, which make life all the more important.
This thought – if it gets into my head is firmly stamped on and not pursued.
It sounds smug but I honestly don’t allow what I can’t do to become a topic of thought or conversation. If I was to start considering the life I used to have I might never climb out of the hole.
Take my living accommodation – I used to live in a large house with a pool (in Florida) I’m now in a tiny bungalow on a council estate living on benefits. Thinking about it p***es me off so I don’t think about it.
My life is TODAY. Yesterday is gone and I have little control over tomorrow so my thoughts stem around what’s for tea or other such banalities.
working, driving, walking my dog, dancing, knitting, sewing…most thing that end with ing really
“The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there"
i was in the process of applying for other jobs when i started having symptoms. i have worked from home as a childminder for 8 years now and was desperate for a change and a job that stimulated my brain and offered intelligent conversation. my original symptoms are still with me with additional ones piling on top as time progresses. i can’t drive at the moment and am thinking that i am now stuck with the childminding for however long i can keep doing it also, as i’m self emplyed i get no sick pay etc and benefits - although i have always paid n.i.- are not looking good due to self employment i wish wish wish that before this started happening i had managed to get a job with all the benefits that go with being employed xxx
Hopefully nothing - we plan to travel in our retirement and my husband reckons I can still see Macchu Picchu just as well from a wheelchair if it comes to it. Fingers crossed…
i miss the long walks i use to have, more than the high heels
I miss the long walks. My husband, then my partner of 3 years. These are all resigned to the past. Ms makes me feel very alone. I miss hot baths, I miss being normal, still look the same but not everything works as it should. My daughter puts it as I’m not weird, I’m special. Thank goodness she is special. Lynn
I miss lots of things at the moment because a recent big relapse has left me now in a wheelchair but am in the process of either finding new ways to do things ie joining a wheelchair basketball team instead of playing tennis, getting a scooter to allow me to still participate in girly shopping trips, looking at a heavy weight scooter to allow me to continue to dog walk or finding new things to enjoy instead. I am just going have to find the new normal and work with it - it’s all daunting though but getting easier. The only thing therefore that I really think is now going to be impossible for me and is a massive regret is being on the beach - last year I could walk on the sand, swim in the sea and even do the odd bit of body boarding but now even getting onto the sand seems like a logistical nightmare this year but hey ho, life is still good.
I miss so much and Lynn has hit it on the heads regards some key things I miss most: long walks and the chats my husband and I used to have as we took them, oh and yes the hot, long baths with loads of smellies, I do still look normal…whatever that is…but I can’t “perform” as normal and as people expect anymore, and lots more…feeling a bit sad now
I had typed out a (long) list, but have deleted it. Sod that for a lark. All those things on the list I have looked straight in the eye and let go, or tried to. And there will be plenty more. But for now I would rather just enjoy the moment and deal with whatever comes along as best I can.
Totally agree with Alison and Jane …I will not dwell on the negatives…enjoy the present …you cannot regain the past so I focus on what I can do and derive pleasure and satisfaction from as much or as little as I can achieve. Xx
As I tell myself, move the goal posts if it seems unacheivable.
I used to tell myself my next Marathon would be the running part of an Ironman Triathlon, for which I would have to learn to swim better.
Goal post moved to learning to swim better!
Lots of others but at the moment treat each day differently
Agree with those who thought this an unproductive line of thought.
I was trying to kid myself that as I’ve been relatively lucky so far, there are NO choices that have already been made for me. But in reality, of course, there are.
I don’t know if I’ll ever work again, for example, but I’m pretty sure I won’t have the option of a conventional 9-5, with commute.
Of course, I can keep telling myself I’m just choosing not to live that way (which might not be such a bad thing), but I probably don’t have a real choice any more, as my heart sinks just thinking about trying. But I don’t think dwelling on the paths that are closed to me is very constructive. Was the rat-race really so great that more - up until the age of 67, or whatever my retirement age actually is by then - would be good?