Hi peeps, What would or could you have done if you didn’t have ms? Or have you been able to do all the things you want or wanted to do with just a few adjustments?
Sorry, but I find this impossible to answer - if not a futile question. It’s like wondering what would have happened if I’d been born a boy instead of a girl, or 20 years earlier or later, or in another country, and so on… I’m not disabled to look at, and can’t prove MS ever directly stopped me doing anything. But it can hardly have helped! I sometimes wonder if life would have been very different if I hadn’t been ill (I think I was ill for years before I or my doctor ever began to suspect anything). Would I have had a much more successful career? Might I have been married, with a family? I can’t say whether my health has affected these things much, or at all. But might I have been more ambitious, more vivacious, more outgoing, if I hadn’t ALWAYS felt one degree under, ever since I can remember? What IS the real me, and what is the crap laid on top by chronic illness? But I don’t think there’s any point keep wondering about this. Firstly because I’ll never get a definite answer, but secondly, because even if I knew my suspicions were correct (that it HAD stopped me fulfilling my potential, personally or professionally), I’d only get bitter and twisted about it. What’s the point of keep dwelling on a question, if you’re not going to like the answer? I have to live with the person I am - which unfortunately includes MS. Sod the unknown person I might have been, if it didn’t happen, because that person does not exist. But neither does the version of me who was born richer, or more athletic, or more artistic, or more beautiful. Tina x
I have acheived everything I could imagine… whilst bringing up my four children and helping my parents run there fish and chip shop so we could get my younger sister through uni and a roof over my parents head, I used to keep a leather brief case on top of my wardrobe which I could see every night and chanted to myself that I would one day have a job where I needed a brief case.
that brief case remaind on my wardrobe from 1986 to 2006 and I did not give up. My children grew up, my sister gained her degree and unfortunately my parents lost everything and I started out back in the workforce in 2001. By 2006 I had acheived the job I needed to use the briefcase for ( the only thing was the style was now out fashion and had to get one that a laptop could fit in). I finish my job on the 20th August due to ill health and I have regretted nothing. I know have 5 grandchildren and making the best of my life. I am looking a self employment though as I have an autistic grandson, who as an adult I want to know jobs are possible for his unique qualities, so who knows whats out there in my future…
The past is gone, the present for enjoying and the future is a secret. No point in dwelling or regretting. I am what I am and have what I have. Catherine Xx
Hi, I think asking yourself this question is a bit pointless. My life is so different from my
previous one. I
ve had to make adaptations in many ways. Im a strong believer in finding out the best way to help myself. This is by asking for help and accepting it when it is offered.
I live with how I am now. I have spent years feeling sad that I had to change my lifestyle and energy, lose a job I loved and wanted to progress in. But as I said, it`s a pointless waste of precious energy to spend time mulling over the what ifs.
That energy is best put into doing and enjoying what I can.
But I will tell you that if I had my time over again, i would love to have been an OT, when I see how helpful these bods are to us disabled folk.
Someone once said to me “yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, and today is a gift, and that’s why they call it the present”