I don’t know where to start, I’m going to try and let my guard down and be 100% honest. Here goes, Me before this dx was bubbly, outgoing and a hard worker. Now I’m not even half the person I was. I keep thinking get a lill job you will feel better. Then I get so frustrated when I look for one, as it makes me realise I can’t do what I want to do. My energy levels are so low, even driving is sometimes a struggle. If you saw me you would think she doesn’t look to bad. My legs are in constant jelly stage and my left arm is some days like lifting 10 bricks.
My family say I’m hard work and draining when I’m down, I just can’t help it. I hate who I am!!! I’m 100% sure that if I didn’t have my beautiful boys I wouldn’t be existing on this earth. To me, this is one of the worst dx, why haven’t I leant to live it yet? I’m 6 years since my dx. I’ve tried councilling it’s like part of my brain just won’t play the game.
Im in thousands of pounds in debt, which I did to make myself feel better. It really didn’t. I feel like such a let down and a complete idiot!!! I can’t see me ever accepting the new me.
My husband is a big binge drinker, my head is spinning just writing this. Why won’t he get help? Why doesn’t he love me enough to stop? Am I causing him to do it?
PIP took my car from me, so now I have to go to appeal at court and feel a complete scrounger. The car that I can drive comfortably in I can’t afford. I know that sounds stupid. The car I have sits on the drive more than its off. Driving a manual with no lumber support is agony. I’ve brought added things for the seat it still isn’t comfortable. I was 2 points off keeping my car.it is getting more and more of a massive effort to get in the car it was the best o could afford.
any advice would be massively appreciated, I’m getting to the end of my wits.
thank you for reading this,