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trouble sleeping

I’m having a lot of problems tring to sleep, I keep going hot n cold n not bein able to settle long enough to get any good amount of sleep, I’m a walkin zombie, can’t take sleepin tablets coz I’m on call incase dad can’t go with mum to a&e again, I really need sleep, my speech is messed up coz I’m that tired that I’ve took to tryin to write stuff down instead, any ideas how I can get sum sleep?

Sorry, but this is ridiculous! If your mum needs to go to A&E, that’s why we have emergency services! I can’t remember what the back story is to all this - if, indeed, I have seen it at all - but if anything happens to your mum that’s serious enough to warrant A&E admission, the contingency plan shouldn’t depend on someone else who is also sick. They will have to ring an ambulance, like normal people. You can’t be on permanent call, just in case anything were ever to happen - which, fingers crossed, it may not.

It sounds as if you would be dangerous to drive anyway, in the state you’re in, so what’s the point of being “on call” in case of emergency? You should most certainly NOT be the person driving! So what difference would it make if you were to take a sleeping pill?

If you are saying you might need to accompany your mum, but NOT as the driver, I don’t see that a sleeping pill would prevent that. I’ve been on them before, and yes, they do make you sleep, but not to the point you’re completely unconscious. If there were a domestic emergency, you could be woken, although you probably wouldn’t be safe behind a wheel.

I’d go for the sleeping pills, if I were you - if that’s what the doctor suggests, at least. You can’t spend your whole life not taking any medication, in case it might affect you in an emergency. You have to look after No. 1, otherwise you’ll be no damn good in an emergency anyway.

Tina

x

Mums got crones disease, dads got arthritis in both hips n his spine, mum can’t be left in hospital on her own, so wen the crones flares up she has to go to a&e for pain relief wen her at home pain relief won’t work, if dads in too much pain then dad calls me to go with her in the ambulance, I can’t drive due to my eye sight not bein too good, coz dads a full time carer for her n im on her social services records as another carer, then they won’t send anyone if dad can’t go with her to the hospital, I can get a call from dad at any time of the day or night and a usual trip to a&e lasts about 5-6hrs a time, we’ve already bin down the route of tryin to get social sevices to have a carer go with her, but as she’s got me n dad then there’s no chance, I just need advice on how to get sum sleep

I’m afraid I cannot give you advice on how to get some sleep if you’re insisting you cannot take anything, because you’re permanently “on call”. You will either have to live with things as they are, or go to the doctor, explain the situation, and see what’s advised. You can’t go the rest of your life not getting what you need, because of your mum. The doctor must surely realise you can’t be on 24-hour call, and unable to take meds, when you yourself are ill? You need to enlist the doctor’s help to get some support sorted out.

It can’t be the first time they’ve ever met this situation. It must happen quite often that carers’ circumstances change, and they can’t do everything they used to.

T.

Hi

I can’t help but think there’s got to be another solution to helping your mum, like maybe having your name taken off being a carer? And to be honest, I don’t quite understand why your dear mum needs someone with her in the ambulance - there will be the paramedics with her, and then the nursing staff will be on call in hospital.

However, back to your sleep. I know how horrible it is to not get any, & I can be a zombie the next day. I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping, but I almost always get some good sleep now, and there’s lots of things that help. For a start, never lie in bed tossing & turning, getting more & more worried about not sleeping. That’s one of the worst things I can do. If you’re not alseep after 15 minutes or so, get up and do something relaxing like read a book or do some puzzles or meditate. The don’t go back to bed until you’re feeling sleepy - not just tired, but sleepy. If you don’t soon fall asleep, get up again.

In the evening, use softer, dimmer lighting, as bright lights will stimulate the brain. If you’re going to go on the computer, turn down the screen brightness. I always avoid looking at the clock, as knowing it’s nearly 4am or whenever just gets me more anxious.

Don’t have any caffeine in the evening, and don’t eat your main meal late either (going to bed on a full stomach rarely helps me). Getting some exercise during the day or early evening is known to help too.

One of the things I find most helpful is to give the brain something to focus on so it’s not thinking about sleep. For example, I might listen to an audiobook on my mp3 (nothing too excting of course! I’ve currently got the Lion , Witch & the Wardrobe on mine, read by some thesp with a suitably soothing voice). Or maybe try talk radio. But I have the volume so low I have to concentrate to hear it. My missus will sometimes try & list things, like the states of America, or countries of Europe. And the trick I do which is surprisingly effective is the equivalent of counting sheep. So I count backwards from 1000 in steps of 3 (1000, 997, 994, 991…) It’s very rare I get out of the nine hundreds before I’m snoozing like a baby.

I hope some of the those things help, and that you get some ace kip soon (and that your mum gets the help she needs too).

Dan

Hi, Theres no wonder you can’t sleep, you seem to have an awful lot on your plate, I’m sorry to sound harsh, but you really need to concentrate on yourself. You aren’t solely responsible for everyone else, but you have to be responsible for your own health and well-being.

If you really don’t want to take sleeping tablets then have you considered a herbal sleeping tablet? I’ve used them loads of times and always find them quite useful. Theres loads of different ones to buy in the shops, personally I use Night Kalms, they don’t knock you out or anything just help you to get to sleep in the first place and if you do have to get up in the night then you can be woken up no probelm.

Dan has given you some great advice just now and maybe using some relaxation and a herbal pill will help you to sleep.

Take care

BeckyX

A good hot mug of horlicks helps me, but not too big a mug, last night I couldn’t sleep cuz my belly was full to the brim with horlicks! Also when iv gone past the poi t of not sleeping for over a week the one thing that can guarantee a good nights sleep ?(this is going to sound terrible) but a proper good cry! I’d not sleep for nearly 2 weeks not so long ago, a patient at work that I’d become fond of had to be euthanasied (it was the best thing for the little man) but because I knew he was coming in I cried most of the day then cried like a baby when it was done. ( I’m talking about a dog I’m a veterinary nurse and despite doing this job for years I still cry!) I went home that night and got in bed and slept straight away all night! A good cry always makes me sleepy!

Oh Madge, I couldn’t do your job as I’d be so heartbroken by the ill animals and having to know they are being put to sleep. When we put our poor little cat to sleep, eveyone was crying, even the vet as he thought a lot of my poor little man. Yes, a good cry makes you ultra tired and I also have half a cup of hot chocolate if I’m having trouble with my sleep. 20 mg of Amitriptyline knocks me out as well, but I can be woken up if need be. Vicki, you can’t sleep because your sub conscious is always alert to the fact that you might be woken up to take care of your mum. This is a situation wher you are going to have to be “selfish” and your mum would have to go to hospital in the ambulance alone, there are people at the hospital to look after her. Yours is not a normal situation, you are also ill and you need your sleep to gain your strength back. If you can’t sleep at night can you sneak a few hours during the day??

Hallo, well i`m not gonna give you another ear bashing about taking better care of your own needs, but I also suffer from poor sleep.

It used to be my bladder waking me up every hour or so, but now I have my spc, my heel pain has taken over waking me up.

The one thing that does help, as someone else has said, is not to look at the clock. I used to and it really magnifies the situation, so not looking does keep me calmer in the night.

pollxx

Saying you cant accompany your mum, isnt “selfish” its “realistic”… try to think of urself, ur probably spending a lot of time worrying about going to the hosp and thats why you cant sleep. I know its something you’ve probably always done, but please dont make urself worse, we all need rest… sometimes thinking of your needs is IMPORTANT… got 2 elderly parents myself and have had to put me FIRST on times, look after yourself as if you were to have a bad spell, you wouldnt be good for anybody, them or you… ambulance personnel are lovely people…likewise A&E

[quote=“fudgey37”]

Oh Madge, I couldn’t do your job as I’d be so heartbroken by the ill animals and having to know they are being put to sleep. When we put our poor little cat to sleep, eveyone was crying, even the vet as he thought a lot of my poor little man. Yes, a good cry makes you ultra tired and I also have half a cup of hot chocolate if I’m having trouble with my sleep. 20 mg of Amitriptyline knocks me out as well, but I can be woken up if need be. Vicki, you can’t sleep because your sub conscious is always alert to the fact that you might be woken up to take care of your mum. This is a situation wher you are going to have to be “selfish” and your mum would have to go to hospital in the ambulance alone, there are people at the hospital to look after her. Yours is not a normal situation, you are also ill and you need your sleep to gain your strength back. If you can’t sleep at night can you sneak a few hours during the day??

[/quote] Hey fudgey I am heartbroken all the time lol! But I know It’s for the right reasons when it’s done. And also the good bits far outweighs the sad, this week iv got 8 lickle kittens to “tame” aka snuggle to pieces. I’d much rather cry once a day for a patient than let someone else do the job that doesn’t care!