Tips for how to talk

Hello there everyone,

Firstly a bit of background. My mum was diagnosed with MS 15 years ago when I was 12. She has slowly worsened over the years declining greatly this past year. She recently had a fall and broke her hip so has been in hospital the past month, going through physio etc. She’s still in there now

One of the main differences in mum since her recent decline is her lack of talking, and introverted body language. I don’t live in the same town so call her often and have obviously visited her recently in hospital. I’ve been finding it difficult to make conversation with her and wanted some tips on how to talk and engage with someone who is very ‘in their own head’ and doesn’t converse very much. I know it sounds silly but I find it very difficult, even though she’s my mum. I’m not worried about her actually engaging in a back and forth conversation I’d just like to know if there is anyone who can recommend things to talk about which will engage mum but not force her to talk to me. I don’t want to keep asking her how are you? Etc I’d rather steer the conversation away from her MS. Do you think the next time I visit her it would be good to jot down a few fun things to talk about like silly news stories etc?

Thanks all :slight_smile:

I think you’ve hit on a good idea yourself Carly, your Mum is stuck in hospital where no doubt, the conversation revolves around MS/Physio/Meds etc. Magazines, books, what was on telly the other night - is there a programme you both follow? Self and Mother have been watching ‘Trapped’ an Icelandic Police Drama, my Mother is well and truly hooked by the cliffhangers they leave you with each week, nevermind the fact that that we have to follow the sub-titles!

If you’re thinking of getting a new outfit/haircut/nail polish/motorbike - ask your Mum’s advice, she may be feeling a bit ‘useless’ and/or left out of things being stuck in hospital.


Hi, I always think it is good to talk about memories…good ones. See if you can coax her out with talking about places you went as a child and things you did. Dont volunteer too much about detail, see what she can remember.

I wonder if you can speak to anyone who has experience of working with folk who have dementia.

I imagine they have a similar issue.

You are a good daughter to be looking to make things better for your mum.