A good night’s sleep. One minute it was there then it disappeared. I checked at the local authorities to see if it had been handed in. They searched their recent records but apart from a group on a stag weekend there were no other cases of lost sleep.
“But I must have it back,” I pleaded. “I have terrible fatigue and my face looks like a spat out toffee.”
“Hang on mate,” continued the little man. “Have you got MS?”
"Oh well there’s no chance. We’ve never had a case with MS. Their sleep evaporates into the ether. “You’ll never get that back. Have you tried pills?”
“I have incontinence issues. I need to be able to wake up in an emergency.”
“Cor blimey,” squeaked the man, scratching his ear with a pencil. “You can’t have your cake and eat it.”
I sighed, limping slowly out of the dusty office. There was a gentle snoring sound but I knew it wasn’t mine.