Forum

Telling the Children?

Former colleague dx’d with m.s. told her young son (8) from day one that she had m.s. and how it may affect her.

Six years on son is now having counselling because he thinks his mother is abou to die.

It may not always be a good idea to involve youngsters in all aspects of our m.s. ??

There’ll be more to it than just that. I mean how many counselling sessions before the counsellor admits that yes one day she is. It’s a sad fact of life. I think you have a point about not letting them only see the sad times or bad days, just make the good days even happier It’s very important to involve children and make them feel like they can speak about this, ask questions and understand as best they can I have found information has prevented unnecessary worry or speculation As with everything I think it’s about how appropriate information is (age related) and how necessary (does it benefit the child to know) Wishing both your friend and their son well x

Which ever way you handle things with children it’s going to have a massive impact on them.

Hi,

I didn’t tell my children until they were about 15 and 13, about 10 years after diagnosis when my walking began to be affected.

Was a very difficult conversation, but they needed to know and I now talk openly about symptoms etc. I’m in a scooter/wheelchair and they are so good about helping me and being so supportive.

The MS society used to produce a book about telling younger children about ‘Mum has MS’ Here is a link to a leaflet.

https://www.nationalmssociety.org/NationalMSSociety/media/MSNationalFiles/Brochures/Brochure-Someone-You-Know-has-MS_-A-Book-for-Families.pdf

Jen

Hi my mum used to say that if a child asks a question they want to know, give an age answer appropriate, this I think is one of those times. Be short and don’t go in to great detail. I have a great nephew and he no longer see’s his dad he asked why and was told daddy has something wrong in his brain, we left it at that, my sister was asked by her son how was the baby going to get out, she said her big toe, he came down puzzled and asked again. This time I showed him some pictures and explained a few things, then went back to see his mum and said silly mummy they come out near where you do your wee wees. Kay

hiya

my kids were 2,3,12 and 13 when i was diagnosed. you know your own kids and theres no rights or wrongs that someone else can tell you. my youngest is now 17 and he says ‘i got it right’ in the way that i told them-hope you do too.

ellie

After fretting for a while, I told my boys when they were 8 and 5 once the physical signs in the legs started to become very obvious.

one asked “are you going to die soon”; the other asked “can we catch it from you”. Once I answered these, the next question was “is that all? Can we go back outside and play football again”