dont feel i’m getting the support I’d hoped for from my partner, and I don’t know what to do. I have rr ms and have been off since june (previous relapse Nov 10 to Feb 11 )was given an oral warning on return and a period of time in which i wasnt to be sik again) then had another relapse in june 11 so had 2 relapses bad relapses in a year. and also breached this period so be looking at written warning on return, if i return. just wondering .is it worth the stress. I’mgoing for another mri on tuesday wiv a view to changig meds to tysabri or sumit. im hoping for ill health retirement but feel if thats a no go area i think i will just leave anyway. But partner duznt seem to be supporting me as i’d hoped. I know it because of money but is it really worth it.

Hi Karen, You’re getting warnings because you’ve taken time off sick? That does sound a bit dodgy, especially considering you were genuinely ill, and it is not something you have control over (if we had control over this stupid disease, wouldn’t that be wonderful?). Your partner must see what the stress of this situation is doing to you - are there other issues that they are dealing with which maybe stop them from reacting/supporting you in the way that you expect? No amount of money is worth going through what you seem to be going through, and the support of your partner should be the least you should expect. I hope things get better for you, Luisa x

are they just stupid? dont they realize there is no cure for this monster sorry but they make me so angry

Hi I am sorry you feel unsupported. As for work, I wouldn’t just leave if I was there. If you want Ill health retirement then push for it. I don’t think your work are doing anything wrong giving you these warnings. My work has a similar policy. However if they carry on with these to the process of dismissing you, your work will need to resolve this issue somehow and redundancy or Ill health retirement may be the way. My work has just dismissed (I believe through redundancy) someone who had been off a lot. They can do this (regardless of whether you have ms) as long as they have a procedure and follow it through. I think with this in mind perhaps you need to push more for the Ill health retirement you want. As for your partner perhaps you need to chat and discuss how much you are struggling. Also you mention money, are you claiming dal and all the benefits you may be entitled to. Cheryl:)-

If you’re in the pension scheme, hold out for ill-health retirement. DO NOT RESIGN! If you resign, you cost your employer nothing. If you get IHR, you cost your employer money. Which do you think they would prefer? Sorry you are having such a tough time, with not much support from any direction, by the sound of it. If there’s no one looking after you, you have to look after yourself while you get through this difficult period. Good luck with it all. Alison x

Hi Karen, so sorry your partner and work are not giving you what you need right now…ie support and understanding. But dont just leave work....youll be cutting off your nose etc. Sounds like ill health retirement would be best. i did it in 2000 and after much soul searching, decided it was best thing to do. much luv, Pollx