I have found since my mobility has worsened certain people now will send me birthday cards that they didn’t in the past i am 55 and haven’t had cards from them since i was a child and none of my siblings get the same treatment, this morning received an Easter card, again why, even some friends are doing this. Don’t need your sympathy and don’t want it.
Hi Trish, without wanting to upset you, I think people are just being kind.
If you put yourself in their shoes, if you didn’t have MS and a friend or family member was dx with MS, wouldn’t you perhaps send them cards and just be a bit more thoughtful than usual?
I think many people find it very hard when someone is dx with a chronic illness. Some, as we all know, just disappear … don’t want to deal with it at all. Others try and be kind which I think your friends and family members are trying to be.
I would take it at face value. They obviously care about you and are aware what a hard time you are going through.
Trish, I know where your coming from, you don’t need sympathy! You just need real friends. I have the opposite problem, since ive been ill and because I’m so house bound so often, and can not jump about and do what I used to and do what they are still wanting to do, so they just stopped contacting me altogether.
I have lost so many friends, people don’t call or text or send a card anymore, but hey oh, just got to get on with it.
These same folk like you Polly have flown away and the only time i hear from them is these cards, I am the only one in my family that gets these cards and i know i am not their ‘favourite’ also i have had a year of certain individuals talking to me as if i am thick, my doctor laughed when i told her , and said god they are brave.So maybe a tad over sensitive, yes there has been a number of friends that have disappeared, but others have stayed the course and i thank MS for that because i know now the ones that i can rely on and afraid I don’t need sympathy , and what does it bring to the table nothing. I wish to be surrounded by folk that can laugh not big sad eyes.
My rule of thumb on cards is that I only made the effort, if it was for someone I was unlikely to see. I’ve seriously not sent a card in couple of years now. I was bad enough at posting before but now I can’t even buy a card unaided! So my Mum & Sister who enjoy crafting have just furnished me with a stash of cards.
My point is that a card is special and I’m sure nobody wanted you to feel anything other than that when sending you a card
I don’t get cards as much as I get phone calls now from family who never had much to do with me pre ms. My friend group has changed though. Some of the people I saw as friends wanted nothing to do with me once I got ill but I’ve since made some really good friends who care about me and actually get more upset if I lie to them with the “I’m fine” line I’m sure we all use.
In many ways I’m more content with my life now than I was before I became ill. That doesn’t mean I like being disabled, if there was a cure found I’d be among the first group pounding on the door of my Neuro.