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Rant - Wish I had a reset button

I’ve been having problems with my bladder since last year that cause sudden urgency and leakage especially when walking. As I get panicky when I’m out and need to go to the toilet and there’s not one close even though I wear Tena I prefer to stay at home where even there I still have a lot of the same issues. My living room door is 3 feet from my bathroom and I can still urinate before I get there. I eventually, after much hanging about, see the urodynamics nurse next week as Botox has been talked about as a potential solution although I’m thinking something more reliable, like a supra pubic cathater, may be required.

Add to this, my upbringing has left me with very low confidence and self esteem so I find it hard to go out without someone with me because I think something will happen to me. I’m so self conscious (with some things) that even the thought of getting a mobility scooter is out of the question even though it would do me a world of good. I also haven’t had friends in a decade (I’m 29) which doesn’t help me at all and my family, except my mum, I want nothing to do with (don’t ask but a Dolly Parton song is a clue). I have a lot of personality traits that will put people off me as well (councelling should come in handy for some of those others are just going to annoy some people no matter what).

I am just so fed up with where my life has ended up. I know many people out there can take a negative and turn it into a positive I can’t, I get tired just trying. I know what and where I want to be but on my own I’ve no idea how to get there. My mum will come see me twice a week but other than that I’m on my own. Neither me nor my mum can afford the taxi fares to get me round to her’s house. If I was on PIP I might be able to, but I was denied the last time I applied. I am going to apply again soon though. Even then I need people more my own age, as well as be around people who can give me a bit of self confidence back.

As an unemployed 51 year old woman with RRMS who was diagnosed in 2001, I find that the main issue is my anger.

I used to cycle 20 miles to and from work everyday, run 2 miles a few times a week and occasionally go salsa dancing. Now I can do none of those which frustrates the f%c*ing blazes out of me!

I am trying to get some local support - from anything.

CBT sessions/ my local MS nurse. Anyone!

I appreciate everyone is different, but try and get some support. Please.

Before you are eaten up by fear and isolation.

I wish you all the best.

M x

I do try, I was seeing a councellor for my main issues but a few personal things were going on and I had to rearrange appointments. Getting Tysabri and taking pets to the vet was being considered as intentional and attempts to wind the guy up. Missing Tysabri isn’t a good idea seeing as I was close to missing 2 in a row and neither is a pet with a tumour missing a vet appointment. I know counsellors try to get a reaction from their patients but I’m more likely to throw a chair at him while telling him where to shove it than just get angry.

I would get support for other things if I knew who and how. My mum prefers to pander me which doesn’t help. I am not a people person which makes me even worse. What I really need is something I don’t think exists.

Hi, I’m 17. About a year and a half ago, before I was diagnosed. I would soil my bed at night. Not sure if it is related to my MS or not but other issues I was having makes me believe so. During the day if I would so much as cough I would have leakage and feel urgency consistently. So I feel your pain, especially with being so young and having to go to school and be embarrassed to tell anyone what’s going on. It did go away though after awhile so there’s hope! Think positive that there’s solutions and it may not be permanent as most things with MS aren’t.

Apply for pip not sure how far off in points or why you didn’t get it did you appeal if not you should have they back pay from claim date. Get help filling it in from cab.

A reset button would be nice…

I have bladder problems, be being male does help a little at home, though i did have a “accident” last night, I did’nt even have chance to get fully stood up with my crutch beforethe flood gates opened… Oh well, it was eveving & a shower was shortly due, just not quite that quickly…