I’ve been having problems with my bladder since last year that cause sudden urgency and leakage especially when walking. As I get panicky when I’m out and need to go to the toilet and there’s not one close even though I wear Tena I prefer to stay at home where even there I still have a lot of the same issues. My living room door is 3 feet from my bathroom and I can still urinate before I get there. I eventually, after much hanging about, see the urodynamics nurse next week as Botox has been talked about as a potential solution although I’m thinking something more reliable, like a supra pubic cathater, may be required.
Add to this, my upbringing has left me with very low confidence and self esteem so I find it hard to go out without someone with me because I think something will happen to me. I’m so self conscious (with some things) that even the thought of getting a mobility scooter is out of the question even though it would do me a world of good. I also haven’t had friends in a decade (I’m 29) which doesn’t help me at all and my family, except my mum, I want nothing to do with (don’t ask but a Dolly Parton song is a clue). I have a lot of personality traits that will put people off me as well (councelling should come in handy for some of those others are just going to annoy some people no matter what).
I am just so fed up with where my life has ended up. I know many people out there can take a negative and turn it into a positive I can’t, I get tired just trying. I know what and where I want to be but on my own I’ve no idea how to get there. My mum will come see me twice a week but other than that I’m on my own. Neither me nor my mum can afford the taxi fares to get me round to her’s house. If I was on PIP I might be able to, but I was denied the last time I applied. I am going to apply again soon though. Even then I need people more my own age, as well as be around people who can give me a bit of self confidence back.