private messages

As I have previously said computers are as new to me as family have no idea I come on here or that I would even find a site let alone use it...and at the moment I want to keep it that way..I am not good at talking to people.

My question is if you pm someone and they reply that way would it come through  to me just on this forum and not in a way that anyone on our computer would see.It is the only one in the house that everyone uses?

sorry to be dumb but in my job Ive never needed computers so I dont understand them..and asking family would create questions.


Hi, i just about manage to log on here, send and open e-mails and google stuff.

If anyone starts talking technical about computers, my eyes glaze over and I go blank!

A far as pms go, well if your family know your MS username and password, then yes, they could read your private messages.

Otherwise they won`t be able to see them. you can alwayschange your username and password, if you think anyone else is reading your stuff.

luv Pollx

Thanks for that and I know I should be talking to them but I just cant .Hubby did say yesterday my daughter had asked him to tell her what was going on as I hadnt actually told her my kids arent his but they do all get on very well


Hi again i wonder if the secrecy is wise. Id rather people knew why I fall over, feel tired most of the time, or whatever esle makes it obvious something is wrong. if someone i cared about couldnt tell me their problems, i would feel i had failed them somehow. Just my thoughts.

luv Pollx


      You can get some good leaflets for family/friends to study so they can learn all about the condition. The MS Trust do as well. So get them all together and tell them your diagnosis and let them look up all about it. And it would be a good idea to get you and your family taking vitd3. Just google vitamin d3 deficiency ms - and also vitamin b12 deficiency ms.  lts certainly not your fault you have ms - Nothing you have done has caused it. lf you were a heavy smoker and had lung cancer -then you would have reason to feel 'guilty'. l have had ms for 30yrs - and previously l was extremely fit and healthy and l have never smoked and l do not drink alcohol. lts not the end of the world - most of us live a happy and fulfilled life.

My biggest regret is that my daughter did not see what l was like before ms  - as l developed it when l was first pregnant with her.

l have only been on this site for about 3yrs. l had fallen and fractured my ankle - so my daughter bought me the lap-top to give me something to take my mind off being so incapacitated. l had never used a computer before then - but soon managed to teach myself. l learnt to touch type 50yrs ago - and was so surprised when it all came back to me - like riding a bike. My fingers just 'fly' across the keys.  Still lots to learn though.


Hello Pip,

To answer your question, a message would be sent to your own e-mail address saying there was a message from noreplymssociety.  Nobody else could read it even if they go to the MS site and if you do not tell them your password they would not be able to read it.

Hope that helps.

Janet x

Pip, You don't have to have the email alerts - you can opt out of being sent notification of a reply. This means you can use your username and password to access your account and look to see if you have any messages. lf you look above at your original post - bottom right hand side - it says 'Get email alerts'.


Well they do say you learn something new everyday and I just have. Thanks F

Janet x

Hi Pip, my gp advised me to talk to my kids as my 9 year old sensitive about being teased about mums strange walk. He,s obsessed by numbers and using self serve check outs. He hates it if I buy anything with a reduced sticker as it never goes through self serve smoothly. I told him by brain has got a big whoops sticker on it so the messages don,t go to the parts of my body that they should. It helps them when I’m having bad days. I don’t know how old your kids are, but they do pick up on when things aren’t right and worry. Perhaps telling your daughter would stop her from worrying about other terrible things that might be wrong with you.
I’m useless with ICT so can’t help with your question,

Thank you all for your replies..Im home alone so have the computer!!!!  Realised yesterday that these things show browsing history so my daughter 17 has been seeing all along what Im doing...I am the work agony aunt and I dont think there is a situation or problem I havent worked through with people.Im just no good at talking to family.I am the one that sorts things but very bad at taking my own advice which is all the things you lovely people say,

Pip and thank you again for your help 

OK when you go onto your computer click the icon (windows xp) Start button or round logo Vista Windows 7

then click near shut down 'Switch User' then you can create a login account with a password.

Once you logged in you can download and use any browser that you want and websites or cookies used on the web browser will only apply to the user name and account!

Example: User Sandy  logs in and visits a Marmite fetish website and logs in and sends pms back an fourth when sandy has finshed using the computer she logs off!

Then a new user logs in Tim he has no knowledge of Marmite websites and will not show up in history.

If any of you ask any website to remember me when loging into any website and you either bookmark this site (favorites)

then anyone going through the fav list will be able to read you pms and profiles etc same with hotmail.

Keyboard keys do not have finger print detection yet so the computer treats the default user as anyone who uses it.

Key thing when using a computer if its shared in a house is Create your own passworded user account and log off when you finished.

That way your life will be easier online and you can tell login websites to remember me etc (not keep loging in on every visit)

No idea on Apples sorry (I like flexability)


Sorry am I bad. Goto Start icon etc then 'control panel' 'user accounts' if default is Admin. When doing this give yourself admin rights also on the new user you create, otherwise you wont be able to download and install stuff.

Still unable to edit posts I see confused


Hi Pip, have you tried putting yourself in your daughters shoes?  How would you feel if it were your mum keeping 'secrets' like that from you?

I was the youngest and they never included me in their 'secrets' it blew my family apart so I now have nothing to do with my brother and sister - sad!

I swore never to treat my children like that and have told them all about my MS, they are brilliant and very supportive to both me and their step-dad.  Please treat your daughter as you would wish to be treated as an adult.

Luv Ann

Cheers god you even know about my marmite fetish!!!!!!!!!  The shame of it. cheers for the advice you may live to regret me knowing you understand how these things work

AnnAlf I can see where you are coming from and its honestly not as bad as I may of made it seem.All the family now know my dx and its one they all know as my mom had it aswell.Its just I dont like talking face to face about it and if asked I say im fine. My husband openly talks on the phone about it and the impending DMD so I guess I felt of the hook with the kids as it was out in the public arena...I thought I had made a big step downloading the society info on dmd and leaving it out for people to read but no-one has even opened it.

I guess it may have an element of denial and if im caught on help forums it makes it real that I have worries. my husband has real problems coping with change/illness/financial problems etc but we survive because I sort things.I know he has major fears of not being able to cope with me/and life in years to come.As he has said.....I saw your mother.

Is there no way things could be resolved with your family? I understand if you dont want to answer that.

cheers to you both and I hope today is a good day.


Hi Pip, I can quite understand your concerns re your hubby, mine helped a fellow church worker who was inflicted with MS and who eventually died.  Hubby and other youngsters in the church used to carry him about, which made hubby say that he would never be able to cope with MS.  Not the best scenario then when I was diagnosed in 2002 with PPMS.  I told him if he couldn't cope I understood and gave him permission to leave.  Bless him he has stood by me and tries very hard to enable us both to lead as normal a life as possible - I always say "I've got MS but he suffers with it!"

Even the 'strong' amongst us have moments of self-doubt/self-pity and general feelings of 'can't cope' but one of the things that I have found in my dealings with this horrible disease is that it is normally the capable/self reliant types that appear to be the ones affected.  Almost as though nature/god or whatever rules our lives has decided to put us to the test/put us in our place or whatever.

I've tried with the 'family' but after my parents died their true colours showed through.  In spite of my letters wishing them well (after they moved house and told my cousins but didn't tell me), I received no reply so decided that chapter of my life had obviously finished.  I just hope that my children learn by my hurt and keep in touch with each other.

We all need to let off steam to others sometime without involving our nearest and dearest hence these sites.

Keep well, Ann