I am new to the forum but just need to vent/feel a bit sorry for myself
I was diagnosed with relapsing remitting MS some 12 years ago at the age of 38. I was started on many medications at the time - baclofen, nortriptyline, gabapentin and a whole host of other stuff. So much so that I had one of those prepaid prescription cards
It made me feel so spaced out and out of control, it was quite unpleasant
Anyway, over time I decided not to take any medication and weaned myself off them. That was around 2005. I have worked hard over the years to look after myself, bit of yoga, eating healthily except the wine, etc…
We have even lived overseas, I have studied and done well but now feel completely exhausted and my family just don’t seem to notice - or not want too…
Currently I work 3 days/week as a nurse (palliative care) and study full time - doctorate but feel its just too much. There is so much pressure on me to complete this study - which I would love to - but just feel I can’t work as well - but can’t afford not to work - if that makes sense. On top of that I still pretty much run the household and my husband is close to useless in helping out and when he does - we know about it.
I just dont know how to make him/them see that I am simply exhausted. I have just taken 2 weeks leave to try and get some energy back and previously I used to recover in a week but it has taken me 2 and to be honest could do with another week. My husband seems to think that even if I complete my study I will be able to work full time as a lecturer, but I’ve only done it to prove I can and to beat the MS.
How do I make them see it? I am really struggling with this - to the point I have felt like leaving my marriage and at least then I have only me to look after and can do things at my pace. (Been married 28 years and seems like he not only takes me for granted but is quite unpleasant at times too - like my illness is a burden despite me still working and contributing).
Don’t really know what I’m asking, but just felt I needed to get it out there.
Thanks for listening