Over the years have seen a number of different neuros - haven’t really liked any of them and I don’t think they like me much.
I wonder are there other pwms, like me, who for whatever reason are not particularly likeable to the medical people?
I haven’t really cared for many neuros over the years,i found one that actually treat me like a human being,and i really liked him,we sort of ‘got’ each other but he retired and although i am with another that i quite like, we just dont ‘get’ it like i did with the one that retired.I think years of experience makes them better not in only in their field of expertise but also people skills too.But not them all.
iv had my run-ins with them too krakowian, I get on with my current ms nurse, my neuro lives on a cloud somewhere or thinks he does, he is really someone who thinks he is one of ‘the elite’ the ones who us mere mortals should be bowing down to, Apart from my very first neuro they seem all to have the same attitude about themselves, I know there will be exceptions but in the main i think they feel they are in a ‘gentlemens club’ of their own. I often feel that they think iv no right to ask any questions and they believe that i should just listen to what they have to say. The last time I spoke with one of them, i spoke quite frankly, without being cheeky but i did tell them that i had to live with ms, she didnt. It was a while after it that I found out that somebody had marked in my files that I had been a ‘complainer’. I can only assume that we are not supposed to say anything out of place to them or speak back to them. Yes I admire and respect their knowledge but their people/patient skills are either lacking or not there at all.
I’m sure I’m seen as a complainer. I have noticed gaps in some of the healthcare knowledge of some of the professionals I’ve seen. I’ve even corrected them a few times which was a little awkward but I will continue to do so if the need arises. My MS neuro is very good but even he has got a few things wrong.
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Krakowian, I believe in starting the relationship as I mean it to continue.
I was diagnosed two years ago. My Neuro is seen as a formidable lady. They way I viewed it was, she and I are going to have a close relationship for the foreseeable future. She’s the only one I’ve got in my area, so let’s get a few things straight! In the early meetings, one day, she barked out instructions as she closed my file and prepared to get up to leave the room. I was being dismissed! I remained seated and told her I wasn’t finished yet…she sat back down. I told her I considered myself an intelligent woman and wished to be spoken to in the same manner. It was my healthcare that we had in common and nobody was going to care about my health more than me!
If there was something I didn’t understand, I would want my questions answered in a way I could. When we had finished, she said goodbye and was about to go. I put my hand out for hers, to shake hands. She was mortified! She actually got flustered and shuffled the files in her hands and apologised (for forgetting the most basic etiquette) as she firmly took mine… I believe it formed the basis for a good relationship between us and we really do have a wonderful professional one. I expect to be treated as an equal, not a lesser being.
I have worked in a hospital when living in the UK and interacting with medics and staff on all levels, has proved to be a great experience in dealing with the "hierarchy!. I speak to all on the same level and expect the same in return. If they have letters after their name it makes them a more qualified person than me. It doesn’t make them a better class of person than me.
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Yes, Krakowian, some people with MS can be completely unlikeable as human beings as well as as patients - and so can some neurologists. Just because a **** has MS doesn’t mean that they will stop being a **** it’s not magic personality pixie dust.
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My only complaint about my current neurologist is that he has a ‘wet fish’ handshake. My OH and myself do all we can to avoid it. Other than that, we have a reasonable relationship. I’ve written to him several times over the past couple of years to inform him of one thing or another (blood test results, other issues related to urology etc) and he’s responded, thanking me for keeping him informed. We have conversations, make decisions related to drug therapies, symptom management and MRIs and I feel that my opinion is considered as valuable as his own.
In fact, I’ve had a decent relationship with all my neurologists and other medical professionals over the years.
So, while it’s possible that certain people just have a personality type which medical professionals dislike in general, I feel very fortunate that I am not one of them.
Sue
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Mmm, interesting post. But Im sure its nothing much to do with whether a person has MS, HSP, CP or the galloping dogtrots!
People will vary in all walks of life, some will clash, some will get on like a house on fire etc!
I`ve seen 16 different neuros whilst trying to get a RIGHT diagnosis and yes, I could have happily thrashed one or two of them with a wet kipper, due to their offhand or holier than thou attitude.
But others have been a mixture of delight, sweetness and oh I could take you home!
pollsx
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Totally agree Polls! X