For over forty years I’ve had no issues with depression, even coped well with having double hip replacement at 35 years of age. Diagnosed with MS recently and the negative thoughts have hit big time. It’s scary when you dont know how to deal with it.
I am not sure if i myself have indulged a greater amount of negativity since my diagnosis. It is a wonder that any of us can remain positive about anything, after such a solid kick to the groin…
When i first got diagnosed, i of course started to scramble for answers. As is the nature of the MS beast, answers are few and far between, especially with critical concerns regarding prognosis.
Part of the information (for what little it amounted to) regarding an MS’ers future life, mentioned that it was not a fatal condition, but most deaths came from suicide! Now i am not to the point of suggesting that i have suicidal thoughts… far from it… but i cannot help but think that i have started to wonder more than i ever would have, whether i would ‘do myself in’ should a certain state of intolerable existence strike.
I read about the conditions and attitudes of people who contribute to these forums, and i see so many suffering so much more than i do… i wonder whether they consider such terrible deeds? i wonder what kind of pusillanimous individual i must be deep down? i wonder if airing these sort of thoughts in here, now, is doing more harm than good? (such a taboo subject after all)
but ultimately, we humans are cursed by our intellect, as it burdens us with a self-awareness. negative thoughts are not a symptom of MS; they are just part of the human condition. for sure the disease can give cause for greater and genuine reasons for depression (and such needs to be addressed) but i do consider extremely negative thoughts as being more of a product of self-fulfilling prophecy and as such, should be understated, especially for those freshly diagnosed and still coming to terms.
Anyway… i apologise if i have not responded to the original post appropriately. it’s just the tangent it sent me off on when i read it. and i apologise even more if i have done little to undermine any sullen mentalities.
chin up and carry on!
I think lots of us get majorly negative thoughts occasionally, on bad days. Consoling myself with the fact that though I hold it in reserve if stuff gets too intolerable, it would have to be pretty bloody bad to consider it… I’m a coward, when all’s said and done, and also don’t want to put my partner and parents through that… particularly at the parent’s advanced ages (one in their eighties, one approaching it later this year). I still am capable of ‘good days’, and while that continues, I’ll ‘keep a’troshing on’! (as we’d say in my home town!)
A recent MS dx and negative thoughts are a marriage made…somewhere. They do tend to go together - that’s for sure. I doubt whether there are many of us who have managed the first without the second. Any why not? - a dx of a chronic progressive neurological disorder is one of life’s big wrenching shocks. There isn’t any easy way of grinding through these tough times that I know of: the first few weeks/months/(or longer for some unlucky people) tend to be pretty bloody for many of us.
But here’s the good news for the day: normal life does tend to reassert itself sooner than you think, even if ‘normal’ looks a bit different. So don’t despair - you will not keep feeling this bad. You will get back to being normal you - again the definition of ‘normal’ might need a bit of adjustment, but far less adjustment than you think, most likely. Most people are pretty robust and good at reverting to being themselves after bad shocks or reversals of fortune. Give it time.
Understand 100% - i do tend to slip into poor mental health in the winter but i have a great gp and MS nurse - if it means that i need an anti-depressant for the winter to brighten things then so be it - ask for help and it will be there for you. I didn’t really have any mental health issues either until after MS diagnosis…
When my neuro diagnosed me with CIS earlier this year, his advice was “don’t dwell, crack on, this doesn’t define you, and it’s not as bad as you think.”
When MS was confirmed by another neuro (an MS specialist) his advice was “don’t be surprised if you feel a bit low for a while, most people do - be kind to yourself, and give it time.” He told me about another patient of his who treated himself to some special hand-made shirts, and basically his advice was to do something to cheer yourself up.
Be kind to yourself, remember life still has plenty of other good thing to offer, reach out to the people that love you, and don’t beat yourself if you’re finding it hard.
my neurologist had very similar advice; a very pragmatic fellow (which is how i like to perceive myself)… he said those who live well with MS, live well.
he clarified his advice by saying, if you go home with the attitude that all is lost, self-destruct and smoke and drink heavily etc then you will be the author of your own demise. if you treat yourself well, eat healthily, indulge in moderation, exercise to as great an extent as possible (and critically for me: avoid stress) then MS will likely have no negative impact at all.
with the disease not having the opportunity to have a deleterious effect, what cause is there to feel down because of it? fears of what might be? everyone in the world has those.
it was reassuring for me to read that the Swank regime essentially followed this exact same logic of treating yourself like royalty. The swank message being:
Hand-in-hand with the diet are other important ingredients to living a healthy life: adequate rest, reduced stress, and an optimistic, attitude that having MS is above all a call to live life to its best and fullest.
For anyone interested the diet guidelines are here and are free: The Diet — Swank MS Foundation
Thanks everyone for your comments. So many people with the dx of MS have and are going through such pain, both physically and mentally. It’s different on a daily basis and I guess it’s because it has never happened before in my life that it’s difficult to know how to deal with it. It’s all new and a challenge but life sends these challenges. Thank you guys x
Ms is a dreadful thing to have and live with - no doubt! one thing that helps me is thinking ‘what if I lived in Syria right now?’ - I mean: things could be worse…- I often think it’s like life in a war zone. snipers are around, ever present you can get attacked for no reason whatsoever…but the sun is still shining.
i agree. i have very little to grumble about.
i was diagnosed at a time when children were dying alone, away from their parents, with only a stranger in a hazmat suit for human contact, because they had contracted ebola.
there were aid workers, ie. really good people being beheaded by twats called John, simply because of their nationality.
endless bombs fall and snipers snipe, and i am stressing over strange sensations and an unfortunate diagnosis?
As you say you were diagnosed recently…then there`s your answer…recently…being diagnosed with something as big as MS, is bound to knock you sideways…but time will, I hope, soften the blow. You need to give yoursefl time to adjust.
Never beat yourself up for having bad day. Look after yourself. Be kind to yourself and get some regular pampering…like a massage…I do and it helps a lot.
Manage your activities and have rest days in amongst.