my carer needs help

hi i have progressive ms my carer works full t8me as a teaching assistant in a local primary school. On friday she was really sick physically, all day so she asked me to ring in for her. i rang warly left a message on the answering machine saying she wouldn’t be in but i was supposed to ring the head mistress. by 7.30 but rang around 8 when she went back to work on monday the head mistress pulled her up in the dining hall in front of the children. she was embarrassed started crying the children werevtrying to look after her and then the head started backtracking saying maybe we could train gwen to ring me everyday at a certain time so she gets used to it and wont forget cos im very forgetful just adding more stress to her. if i fall i can’t get back up by myself she helps me she does my catheters she help to ckean my bottom she helps me get dressed especially those very atractive elastic socks she has no problem at all with any of this bless her but the head mistress said she would be better off with a home help coming 8n everyday. i can’t fall to order or go to the toilet to order so what good would that do. she is upset and has contacted Create is there anything else she can do sorry for the long chat

Is your carer in a union? I would be seeking their advise if i was her and she is or maybe Acas if not. Is this rule of having to ring by half seven official written policy or an invented want but this headmistress? If a hard and fast rule is it achievable ie would the headmistress ALWAYS available to take this call early?

I think the headmistress has acted very unprofessionally by giving her a dressing down in front of the children.Perhaps she struggles to differentiate between telling off children and managing adult staff!?

Your carer could put in a grievance under the schools grievance procedures if she feels strongly but this could get the headmistress’s back up and cause further problems down the line?


Hi Gwen,

Why not leave another message on the answerphone (so that others can hear it first) inviting the head mistress to spend some time with you, doing all the work that your carer does. Just for the work experience you understand. It sounds as if she needs it.


hi gwen

as an ex primary school teacher there are two distinct types of head teacher.

the humane, lovely, funny ones.

and the cantankerous old (choose your own rude word)!

your poor carer appears to work for the second type!

anthony’s suggestion is brilliant.

don’t let the old cow get you down.

rise above it all.

carole x