Err fairly wide but likely much discussed topic I imagine just going by the title, but I do plan to get a little more specific as there is a side to my case most Brits on this site might not have to deal with.
Before anything else, I am Danish but I live in Japan. The work environment, culture and health system here is completely different from Europe generally.
This is important context.
So I am late thirties and had a child about a year ago, just at the same time as I had a massive new brain lesion. I was at the time on sick leave for 3 months due to changing to Gilenya and needing rather heavy IV steroid treatment to cull the rebound attack after stopping my previous medicine. Immediately after that 3rd month I then went on paternity leave until my son’s 1 year birthday.
I was very unpopular even before the sick leave, having increasingly been getting desperate to avoid Corona which was the new scary thing due to suddenly getting MS and needing immune system reducing medicine as well as wanting at all costs to avoid my pregnant wife from catching Corona due to me getting it at work (high school teacher). My wife is a home-going housewife since she got pregnant. My “don’t come near me without a face mask!” attitude did not win me many friends. Then going on sick leave for 3 months did not make me more popular. Then straight into paternity leave for almost a year right after, well you see where this is going. I did not quite get fired, but well they have made it quite clear they’d rather I just vanished or became part time so they don’t have to pay me benefits and so much salary.
During one year of paternity leave I noticed quite quickly my way of thinking and indeed mentality changed severely. I have been reading that MS also has personality changes and such as a symptom, and I did have a massive gaping new hole in my brain with no other symptoms visible.
I have also heard repeated endlessly how becoming a parent changes everything for many people and how you never know this or that properly until you’re a parent.
I imagine I could be stepping into both these things at the same time, but basically I suddenly found myself really hating going anywhere. I just want to be hanging around my little boy all day and all night long basically. And I want more little babies, as many as I can, and then to hang around them too all day all night. Even though my wife is clearly much more popular with the little fellow, barely glancing my way 95% of the time. A little lonely that but all the more makes me want to be around for when interest suddenly arises.
I get depressed when I get ignored. And work sucks so I come home tired and indeed very uninteresting to interact with. But I need the job to pay the bills and treatment. I struggle with this quite a lot honestly.