# most upsetting/offensive thing said to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Everyday living\ **Created:** [16 January 2020 20:15 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056 "2020-01-16T20:15:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cracowian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@cracowian](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/cracowian)\ **Post date:** [16 January 2020 20:15 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/1 "2020-01-16T20:15:36Z")
…a work colleague who when I told her I’d got m.s. said ‘I’m not surprised!’ sort of sapped the confidence … thought I was doing o.k. ---
**Author:** ![Crazy\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@Crazy\_Chick](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Crazy_Chick)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 04:58 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/3 "2020-01-17T04:58:12Z")
what a strange thing to say. I am not surprised! I think they just had nothing else to say. I might have asked them to qualify their statement. ---
**Author:** ![NorasMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b487fb/32.png) [@NorasMom](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/NorasMom)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 11:07 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/4 "2020-01-17T11:07:24Z")
Not quite what you’re looking for here, but 2 different long-time-but-casual friends responded with “Sorry to hear that” when I told them, and I haven’t heard from either one since. Prior to my diagnosis, they were in contact with me on a regular basis. ---
**Author:** ![Florence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Florence](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Florence)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 12:01 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/5 "2020-01-17T12:01:30Z")
A friend of sorts told me to get up and walk and not just sit. My legs won’t get better by just sitting. ---
**Author:** ![Boudica405](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@Boudica405](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Boudica405)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 14:00 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/6 "2020-01-17T14:00:43Z")
Lovely people aren’t they, who make this quips and waltz off! When I got a scooter, someone said `I hope it wont make you lazy!` Nice! Only this week, a child of about 6 said to me in my wheelchair, `Get out and walk!` Wasn’t he a sweetheart! ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 14:16 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/7 "2020-01-17T14:16:01Z")
MS nurse asked what rate of PIP I had been granted and when I told her she said “how the hell did you manage that as many disabled people get nothing and I have to fight for them all the way” I was quite upset and very offended by the comment. ---
**Author:** ![Boudica405](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@Boudica405](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Boudica405)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 14:17 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/8 "2020-01-17T14:17:09Z")
I should coco! ---
**Author:** ![Mogace](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/mssociety/user_avatar/forum.mssociety.org.uk/mogace/32/437_2.png) [@Mogace](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Mogace)\ **Post date:** [17 January 2020 19:00 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/9 "2020-01-17T19:00:58Z")
The most offensive thing said to me by a colleague after I told them I had MS made me laugh, he said " that explains a lot, I just thought you were a clumsy \*\*\*\* " Mind you , he was always saying offensive stuff, just nothing too close or personal to be hurtful, yet other colleagues said stuff that was inoffensive but for me was very hurtful, none of which I would choose to share. M ---
**Author:** ![Linamumof4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Linamumof4](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Linamumof4)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 00:11 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/10 "2020-01-18T00:11:34Z")
She is a silly C0w ---
**Author:** ![Linamumof4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Linamumof4](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Linamumof4)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 00:13 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/11 "2020-01-18T00:13:48Z")
Some people really don’t take other people feelings into consideration, always opening their big mouths. Not nice. ---
**Author:** ![Linamumof4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Linamumof4](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Linamumof4)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 00:17 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/12 "2020-01-18T00:17:49Z")
I too have to use a scooter and wheelchair ( not diagnosed, but told call it M.E for now). I was told “I don’t think you need that you don’t look disabled”. It’s annoying,frustraiting and can be very hurtful. ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 00:39 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/13 "2020-01-18T00:39:44Z")
God i think you must have the same MS nurse as me . I always seem ok ( to them when i see them , 15 years in ) . But oh my god if they had seen when i was going through the PIP fiasco they would have understood how bad going through it was making my illness worse , anxiety levels totally off the scale !!! ( think the assessor i saw ,seemed to me and my sis who came with me was a mental health nurse, by the questions she was asking me seemed to totally understand where i was coming from ) And then telling my MS nurse of my award they seemed amazed at my award ( thankfully i didnt bother involving them or i would have ended up worse off ---
**Author:** ![jaydee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jaydee](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/jaydee)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 07:09 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/14 "2020-01-18T07:09:49Z")
I have stopped going to the MS nurse and the so called MS specialist i used to see. Neither of them had a clue how my MS affects me. ---
**Author:** ![jaydee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jaydee](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/jaydee)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 07:14 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/15 "2020-01-18T07:14:00Z")
They were not true friends,they have done you a favour though.You are better off with them no longer part of your life.Awful people.It might happen to them one day and lets hope they are treat in same way. ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 11:58 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/16 "2020-01-18T11:58:25Z")
in the early of me having being diagnosed and struggling a good friend of mine said, “you’ve lost your sense of humour”, that really upset me, I didn’t say anything at the time, but in recent years I have gone over with her some of the things she has said, told her they upset me, told her I was done with this friendship and she was devastated, haven’t realised, didn’t want our friendship to finish, so I’m giving her a 2nd chance, well see how things go, 1 wrong word and that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Boudica405](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c4cdca/32.png) [@Boudica405](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Boudica405)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 12:33 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/17 "2020-01-18T12:33:02Z")
Some people will never get how we feel, cope etc…I suppose you can`t blame them entirely, cos they don’t have what we have. ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 14:44 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/18 "2020-01-18T14:44:56Z")
no they can’t. however when your friend of 30 odd years says things like that and you’ve supported her in the past (when her marriage broke down you took her in) you’d thing she’s at least try to understand and be supportive. ---
**Author:** ![cracowian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@cracowian](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/cracowian)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 16:53 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/19 "2020-01-18T16:53:50Z")
I think some people feel obliged to say something when we tell them we’ve m.s. but they simply don’t know what to say and inevitably say the wrong thing. Oddly enough what no one ever said to me was something along the lines of they know nothing about it. My favourite response was someone who said - ‘it’s a bu\*\*er!’ which summed it up exactly. ---
**Author:** ![Ssssue](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/mssociety/user_avatar/forum.mssociety.org.uk/ssssue/32/4182_2.png) [@Ssssue](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Ssssue)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 18:55 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/20 "2020-01-18T18:55:33Z")
It’s not an offensive or even a particularly unfeeling question, but I am sick to death of people saying ‘Aw, poor you. Does that mean you have good days and bad days?’ It’s as if they don’t see the wheelchair. I’m also fed up of replying ‘More like bad months and worse months.’ I understand that at least they’ve taken on board the idea that most people with MS do have the relapsing remitting variety, but not all of us! People with PPMS must find that question even more irritating. At least I had times in the past of remission!!! Sue ---
**Author:** ![jactac](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/mssociety/user_avatar/forum.mssociety.org.uk/jactac/32/2604_2.png) [@jactac](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/jactac)\ **Post date:** [18 January 2020 19:38 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056/21 "2020-01-18T19:38:40Z")
I’ve said many many times, the only people who understand MS are the people with MS. I don’t care what anyones title is, consultant, neurologist, specialist nurse, GP, physio, or the Pope ! These people can only try to imagine, and even then, they just dont get it ! [Next page](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/most-upsetting-offensive-thing-said-to-you/33056.md?page=2)