# More chortles **URL:** \ **Category:** Everyday living\ **Created:** [9 March 2013 12:43 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502 "2013-03-09T12:43:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 12:43 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/1 "2013-03-09T12:43:50Z")
**Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?** **Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?** **Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough?** **Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?** **Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?** **Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?** **What is the speed of darkness?** **Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?** **If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?** **Do married people live longer than single folk or does it only seem longer?** **How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?** **Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?** **Did you ever stop and wonder…** **Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I’ll squeeze** **these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’** **Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.’** **Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?** **Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?** **Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?** **Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?** **Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs** **!** **If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?** **If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?** **If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?** **Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?** **Stop singing and read on…** **Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?** **Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?** **Does pushing the lift button more than once make it arrive faster?** Thanks F, Wb x \<(_L_)\> ---
**Author:** ![chocorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@chocorange](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/chocorange)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 15:29 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/2 "2013-03-09T15:29:12Z")
hiya f sent me this earlier too-very true! unanswerable questions-just what we need… ellie x ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 16:01 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/3 "2013-03-09T16:01:47Z")
Dead right E, I thought they’d lighten the load a tad.Speaking of light loads,do you know how H is getting on? I’ve E-mailed but heard nowt.How are you diddling? S xx \<(_L_)\> ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 16:10 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/4 "2013-03-09T16:10:10Z")
🙂 i loved the pointing to the bum one 🙂 x ---
**Author:** ![chocorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@chocorange](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/chocorange)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 16:14 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/5 "2013-03-09T16:14:29Z")
hiya spoke with h last week-shes grand. i am dandyo ta. physically getting weaker by the day but mentally as good as always! i am writing a book! left handed one finger typing means it will take a while but have got a real,professional writer to check it over for me and can access help with publishing. did u see my post re butterfly etc? thats what promted me to get it started before its too late… [http://www.mssociety.org.uk/forum/everyday-living/diving-bell-and-butterfly-not-ms-could-be](http://www.mssociety.org.uk/forum/everyday-living/diving-bell-and-butterfly-not-ms-could-be) take care unique one… e x ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 16:25 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/6 "2013-03-09T16:25:55Z")
Thanks Steve - l don’t know how you do it. Clever boy. ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 16:49 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/7 "2013-03-09T16:49:47Z")
F,I didn’t want to hijack the other post,but I must ask about the incident with the PJs and the ducks.What do you think frightened them most? The drop in standards or the slinky leopard Lady looking for her breakfast? S x \<(_L_)\>…now ,that’s not clever either ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 18:11 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/8 "2013-03-09T18:11:08Z")
l opened up the pophole door - and as soon as they saw the leopard print - they either thought l was a predator - or maybe Bet Lynch. But they went quackers!! ---
**Author:** ![Inactive\_User](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3e96dc/32.png) [@Inactive\_User](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/u/Inactive_User)\ **Post date:** [9 March 2013 18:19 UTC](https://forum.mssociety.org.uk/t/more-chortles/29502/9 "2013-03-09T18:19:44Z")
Bet Lynch hey!!! There’s a blast from everybodys’ past.I’ll forgive you for Quackers,if you’ll allow me to say.“I hope this doesn’t mean our banter is taking a Tern for the worst.” Wb x