Without going into huge detail about my messed up story at this point - I just wonder about the whole lover/carer thing. Does it ever work?
I met my current partner a year ago, already dx’ed and experiencing alot of problems (but not a heck of a lot of support - more of that story later). I can’t walk etc, so he was already used to me being a wheelchair user when we met, and got romantic (which is sort of possible though I never would have believed you had you told me at the time). I was single so coping on my own with help of carers, who by nature don’t bat an eyelid at wet beds and helping you in the shower. I was I single mum before my health really dropped off, and instead of supporting me, SS sent my kids to live with their (abusive - why we left in first place) father :’-(
Anyway - situation I’m in now. Esp. after being in a long term abusive relationship, that level of trust is really hard for me. We are in the process of moving in together, into my current place which is adapted. Thing is, I’m not sure either he, or our relationship are cut out for it. What seems ok right now isn’t necessarily going to be for the rest of your life, and I’m only 30 - I’ve got some years left. He hasn’t seen me in a really bad way yet - not messy and icky and impossible. Plus, he kind of expects me to lead in the relationship, and by default I sort of have to follow. I don’t feel he’s the ‘protector’ I need him to be sometimes. I love him, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t know if this can work.
If anyone has any advice or experience to impart I would be really grateful of responses.