Hello all,
About 7 years ago I gave up on the romantic relationship thing. That was about when I was diagnosed but my decision didn’t have anything to do with MS at the time. The fact I been severely hurt in the past was but against all odds I recently met someone online. I’m on my late 30’s and he is on his early 40’s. We’ve been chatting for 4 months now on daily basis and we get along amazingly well. Although he doesn’t have MS, he has witnessed it close with family members and has a very good idea what it is like. He knows I have MS from day one. We both have gonne under many similar life experiences. He is supportive, caring, gentle, respectful… you know, everything someone with or w/o MS could dream of. We lives far away so he wants to come to me. He says he loves me for who I am and MS won’t stop him from wanting me in his life. I told him this is too hard for anyone and that I’d understand if he can’t deal with it. 7 years has gonne since I found out I had MS and I have loads of severe disabilities, I’m a wheelchair user and he knows all that. My question is why would someone want to be romantically commited with someone like me. I’m struggling with my lack of self confidence… things I wasn’t concerned before like, I put on lots of weight, I don’t look pretty anymore, I almost can’t do anything… I mean even to type this took me over an hour. I feel I kind of push him away when I say these things but the truth is I want to be honest with him and I don’t want to be hurt again, I can’t be hurt again, specially because of my condition and I don’t want to hurt him, he is the most kind soul I ever met and I believe he deserves someone who can share with him everything he deserves in life and at the same time I’m feeling lost, too afraid of losing him either for distance, my MS or my looks and I’m starting to show up all these fears to him. Please, any advice without judgement would be muchly appreciated.