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I'm falling apart

So in June, I broke up with my partner of 6 years. We were living together and had been together since before I got diagnosed.ar tenancy agreement runs out in October. I’m moving back to where I came from in Devon (I currently live in Bristol). I have managed to get a job transfer, and the new position starts in the first week of September. I’ve found a bungalow to rent. I am still living with my ex until I move next week. The last couple of months have been difficult and now I’m trying to pack and all my symorons are getting really bad. I’ve wet the bed twice this week. I can barely walk. I’m feeling incredibly weak and very tired all of the time. I’m desperate for this to be over. I know I haven’t accepted or dealt with the break up yet. I’m trying to concentrate on getting through one day at a time but I’m struggling to do even that. The physicality of moving house is destroying me. Thank you for listening. I needed to vent. I trust my symptoms will improved when I get out of here.

Hello

I’m sure the stress of the break up as well as your sadness while packing up your life are really affecting you and making your symptoms worse.

Once you’ve made the move and are back living closer to friends and family (hopefully), you’ll feel a bit more positive.

With regard to wetting the bed, plus worsening symptoms, have you had your wee checked for a UTI? That’s what always causes me to wet myself.

It must be so difficult for you to physically do what’s necessary for the move. That in itself will cause you to feel like hell. Add to that the emotional pain of ending your relationship and it’s entirely unsurprising that you feel low and dispirited.

Keep talking to us and we’ll always listen. It’s not a ‘rant’, it’s sharing your feelings with people who know and understand your problems.

Sue

Hi Sue Definitely no UTI. I’m on prophylactic antibiotics and have monthly tests following Lemtrada. Jen x

Well that’s good. Just the stress and physical strain of actually moving then.

Which at least means that once the move is over (and the unpacking done - or semi done!), you should start to feel a bit better.

Sue x

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Morning TB. Not quite the same but similar. I lost my husband suddenly 2017. I had to deal with so much stuff my head span. My life changed so much. I even found it hard to stay in my home i had shared with him for nearly 30 years so made the decision to leave and sell and went into sheltered independent living into a small flat.

the fall out of all this was MASSIVE. it still is ongoing. With MS any change in our life or routine can make us feel just awful. we can go into pseudo exacerbations of our symptoms.

get help to move. You must have friends. I packed slowly over several weeks, and i had a purge of my life if i didnt use it, i lost it. I only took the things i loved or really needed. by doing it slowly it wasnt so hard on me. I had help to move by family and a removers. they did a lot of the lifting and it was all done, then i sent in a cleaner to clean the house from top to bottom, and i have never been back not even to look outside. I couldnt bear it. even finding photos makes me feel sad of all that I lost.

It is hard no doubt about it. YOu will feel like carp for weeks even when you settle, but at least you have new challenges and wil meet new people which overtime will help. Just try to look at the future this time next year you wont even recognise yourself. In 7 months of moving here slowly i have met people i like, i even PLAYED DARTS the other day with a guy who has diabetes and he reminded me of andy cap and we had such a giggle together nothing like that just mates, and i BEAT him lol, i haven’t played before well must be nearly 40 years ago so for me that huge.

I just enjoy all the little challenges i have now and i am pushing myself more to join in, i find it hard as its so alien to me and my previous life, and i miss my hubby so much, but i know to survive i have to make the effort. My MS did a nose dive no doubt about it. CRASH like a stack of plates, and slowly i am sticking the bits back together.

DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF, its HUGE what your going through huge, even for someone who is not ill.

TAKE ONE day at a time. I can honestly say without fear of contradiction it is going to hurt like hell, and you will have after shocks, but slowly over time it will slowly get better, and you will wake up one morning and find yourself whistling or singing lol and looking forward to going to work.

but it takes time. sending you a virtual hug, your not on your own, so many people have life changes to face. Your MS is going to screw with you, but you have got this. Just remember why your going through all of this.

There are new adventures out there for you. But at the moment you are scared, and grieving a life changed and new beginnings are scary as hell. BUT YOU HAVE GOT THIS. Your stronger then you realise, and i look forward to seeing your future posts when you tell us all about your new life and beginnings. xxxxxxxxxx

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Thanks everyone. I am still living with my ex but he’s been a huge help moving. I will miss him but I know it wasn’t right. He wasn’t supportive, wouldn’t come to hospital with me. Even though it was obvious that my MS was getting worse, I couldn’t talk to him about it. I felt alone all the time. I am trying to see this as a positive new start but it is bloody hard

what struck me on reading your post was that you don’t seem to have anyone supporting you. You need support on the physical side with packing your things and moving and you need emotional support. Maybe people are unaware of your needs. Would it be possible for you to approach someone and be very blunt about the help you need. The most likely ones to help are those who have themselves had a rough time in the past.

Hi Jen

I’m sure that once you’ve moved and settled in, plus started your new job, you’ll begin slowly to feel better emotionally. As for physically, that often follows in a positive direction once you feel better in your head.

Being in a relationship where you feel lonely is often much worse than being alone. It won’t be easy for you to live alone at first, but eventually you’ll figure out ways of getting things done and will I’m sure feel better than living with someone who’s generally unsupportive and uncommunicative.

Let us know how the move goes, don’t try to get all your unpacking done at once, try to space it out so you get some relief from fatigue.

You have lots of friends on the forum who will be wishing you well as you make this move and a new life for yourself.

Sue