What a confusing and unpredictable condition this is! I’m over 5 years since diagnosis and I still don’t know for sure when I’m relapsing or whether my problems are a result of the major relapse I had when I was first diagnosed in 2012. I put it down to good days and bad days, and the general aches and pains of living with RRMS.
However, it’s just occurred to me that I’ve probably had a significant relapse in the last month. Just measured against what I feel like now. I think it’s been building up for a while, the problem being major fatigue and some difficulty walking, plus pain in my back, although I do have arthritis too. So I’m never sure which it is.
A few weeks ago I was logged on working from home. I had 8 full hours sleep the night before, but by 10am I had to email my team to say that I had to log off and go to bed, I could hardly keep my eyes open to type the email. I slept pretty much for the next 2 days solidly, didn’t leave the house, eat, or wash for 4 days (gross I know). I felt like my body just shut down. Very hard explaining this to work, but they try to be understanding. I also felt incredibly depressed. Like I didn’t want to be here anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I would never hurt myself but I haven’t felt so low and anxious since my brother died. I called the employee assistance line through work at midnight one night to speak to a counsellor and that helped.
I feel 100% better in every way and I’m back at work. I felt tired last week, but normal tiredness, and not even comparable to what the previous few weeks were like.
Does anyone else struggle with understanding what is happening to them and when a relapse is truly a relapse?
Thanks all xxx