I should be pleased but I'm so anxious

Hello everyone who reads my post.
I should be really happy but I’m the opposite. Basically I was diagnosed a week before my 30th birthday (I’m now 49) My husband and partner of 18 years and I left my hometown of Lincolnshire for Wales around 10 years ago and he was removed by the police from our family home due to controlling and physically abusive behavior. I should be feeling very happy knowing that I have been found the perfect one bed flat back home in Lincolnshire near family but I’m just so anxious constantly. I am really struggling to pack up my belongings though my social worker came this morning and helped pack up my cd’s (which I have hundreds of). I just can’t see an end to it. And to top things of I have noticed that my washing has stopped working. :0( I just think that to have stayed with my ex was probably best because I am so overwhelmed with all the jobs that need doing. My mental and physical health is deteriorating rapidly. I have self harmed out of pure frustration because everything I pick up to try and pack I drop and break. I have no idea who or where to turn to for help to place some kind of flooring on the cold concrete floors in my new home. Also to make my life even more difficult my electric chair was broken by my ex on purpose and I have been house bound since last September when he was removed. I am dreading moving as where I am going to is very remote and there is no way I can walk the distance to the nearest bus stop. Any advice on how I can be more positive would be greatly received . Sorry for my rant people. Take care x

Gosh, that sounds like you have been through very stressful times. No wonder you are feeling so anxious. Just try and take one step at a time. Moving is always a very stressful time even without all the other complications you have.

As you describe your ex as controlling, then I guess he probably went out of his way to make you very dependent on him. I would think that it will take time to get used to taking back control of your life, but you’ve made the big and correct decision to move well away from him, and start a new life, and much closer to family, who I hope will be very supportive. As your new home is a flat, then that may make it easier to meet your new neighbours, and help you ease into your new community too.

Take one step at a time. You will get there!