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I need your support

Hi everyone. I haven’t been here for ages and I have missed all your support. I have become very deppressed. In June, in a spur of the moment stupitiy, I took an overdose. I cant remeber how much amityptile I took, and was told it was only because my body is used to it (I normally take 160mg a dat) that I survived. I get the keys tomorrow for a bungalow in a sheltered accomodation complex. I am not having any type of counselling, I am just taking a higher dose (can’t remember what!) of mirtazipine. I hope the move will help me, At the present I live in a small terraced house and have to be carried up to bed by my husband and son because I cant walk. If my son is going out (he is 18 and likes going out to play snooker, and I don’t want to spoil his life) I have to go to bed after tea and I feel a baby being sent to bed. I have to use a catheter, my drinks are in baby spill proof cups and my meals cut up for me and have to wear a bib!

I’m sorry for the moan, I hope I will start to feel better soon. I keep looking at a cross stitch picture I did after my mum died -

’ the sun is always shining behind the darkest cloud’

Lynne x

Oh Lynne , what a terrible predicament to manage!!! It’s great you’ve got a family around you and you are not alone and you are moving to a new home. Maybe you will feel more in control if you can do a little more if the accommodation is more suitable? You must trust in your doctor or neuro and get your mental health sorted as well as it can be. You may need ongoing talking therapy as well as meds, sometimes trials of different treatments have to happen to find the right one, its not til that happens that you see a definate light at the end of the tunnel. Try not to focus on what you can’t do and think of yourself as childlike, instead look at all the things you can do no matter how small and start to take some control over how you want things to be, even just the smallest things like bedtime and menus etc. I wish you well and send you big hugs and most of all I wish you hope and happiness xx

Hi Lynne

I’m sorry you’re feeling so low - you’ve no need to apologise for moaning, you’ve got a lot to moan about! You’ve had some good advice from Wanderer already. Definitely get some counselling or therapy of some sort (your GP will be able to refer you). I find mindfulness meditation really helps with mental health too (if you google it, you’ll find plenty of things about it). And as Wanderer says, finding some little ways to take control will help too. Hopefully being in a bungalow will help with that & give you more freedom.

And fill your bungalow with as many plants & flowers as you can - nature is well proven to be beneficial for us, both in terms of our mental health & physical health. I often go to the birdsong.fm website, and just have birdsong playing the background (very relaxing!). I heard about a study that compared two groups of hosital patients. One group had a tree outside the window to look at, whereas the other group only had a view of another wall. The group that had the view of tree got better more quickly. And I heard about another one that compared two groups, where one was able to choose & look after a houseplant, while the other group didn’t. Again, the group that looked after the plant did better.

Do you know what kind of support you need?

Dan

Hi Lynne,

sorry you have been having such a bad time,pleased that you are moving to a bungalow,it should make things much easier for you and your family

the thing that helped me when i was having a really bad time with depression was writing down a list of things i managed to do that day,it made me realise that i was doing more than i realised,and it made me feel better…

good luck with the move.hope you are happy in your new home.

J x

Hello Lynne

I am sad to hear that you found yourself feeling so desperate, that you took an overdose…thank goodness for you and your family, you survived. I hope I am never in the same position, what a dark place you must have been in.

Now Lynne, you have the keys to a bungalow in a sheltered accommodation complex…great news!!! Hopefully, things will start to improve. No more having to carry you up to bed, although I bet your son was proud to do it. Now you can feel a bit more independant.

I really do hope you start feeling a little better soon Lynne, just give yourself time to adjust to the move.

Take care, Noreen xx

Dear Lynne, I am so sorry that you felt bad enough to take the overdose. Thank heavens you were saved! Do you feel you were lucky to survive it, or do you feel worse?

Making the move to a bungalow, will make a big difference, I hope.

Like you, I need a bib and spend a lot of time in bed. But because I am downstairs and still feel part of the household, I really dont mind.

I also have a catheter…the spc tye and yesterday had 2 bouts of finding blood and sediment in my tube and bag. What a fright for all of us. I rang my nurse and she said I must have tugged it somehow. I did go out shopping and think the journey caused it.

My life is difficult, but have 3 kind carers, as well as my husband. Do you have carers other than your son? I have Direct Payments to pay for them and other things. I`ll tell you more if you like via a pm.

Good luck with the move.

luv Pollx

Dear Lynne, My heart goes out to you, I do understand the way you are feeling, I am Bipolar and have RRms I do not have the physical problems that you have at the moment but I have had a lot of mental issues as well as my own physical & cognitive problems, although I’m fairly stable just now. I’ve had lots of talking therapy (as well as lots of meds) over the years - mainly CBT which hasn’t really worked but the one thing which has changed my life was a Compassionate Mind group that I was lucky enough to attend. My local MS support group in Derby do a Mindfulness course which would be along the same lines, it may be worth checking if there is anything available in your area. Have you been on the Mirtazapine for a while or it relatively recent. Please try & look at the move as a new start whereby you can hopefully gain a bit more independence & start to love yourself - it’s a good first step to be posting on here & asking for support. I can also recommend a couple of really good books if you can manage to concentrate at the moment. Please please feel free to pm me if you need any advice/books/anything. Take care, Kate xx