Hi. Haven’t been here for a while. Can anyone help me? I live with my mum, I’m well grown up (44 yrs old), I retired from teaching last year and have a number of problems. I use a wheelchair, I’m always desperate for the toilet, I sleep a lot, have difficulty getting into bed, no longer drive because of my sight in my right eye, take a tablet to help swallowing. Is that enough?
The thing is I met up with a good friend last week. She is about ten years older than me and retired from teaching last year as well, also due to her health. She has been through such a lot. She had breast cancer, also had an eye problem, runs to the toilet a lot, had a hip replacement, had pneumonia twice and recently had treatment for non-Hodgkin lymphoma. She has a very cheery disposition despite all of this. According to my mum, I too should have the same disposition. Even when I’m desperate for the toilet or have a pain somewhere.
‘-- doesn’t complain,’ my mother has said to me a few times since I got home after seeing my friend on Thursday.
It’s not the first time I’ve felt my mum was comparing me with someone else. She told me my dad never complained - he had kidney disease and died when I was 7. Last week she told me I had no gumption when I was teetering on the edge of the wheelchair.
Am I being horrible? Am I being a drama queen when I say I think it’s unfair to compare me and the 's with other people who have very different health problems? Why is it when I get annoyed with my mum when she says stuff, I say something horrible and I’m the one who apologizes?