Having a whinge!

and so it came to the day of the (very close relatives) funeral.

Felt crap/really unwell and couldn’t face the 200 mile round trip so texted my 3 siblings explaining why I couldn’t go.

10 days on not a word from siblings enquiring if I’m better. Not surprised as I often feel excluded.

Do they not care - do they not realise that m.s. can cause problems - do they see themselves as sort of superior to me and see me as inferior to them and not worth bothering with.

Knowing that travelling long distances cause me problems why didn’t one of them offer me a bed for the night.

I ask myself if their reaction is because I’m miserable/disagreeable/pre-occupied with my m.s. – I think (hope) not.

Could it be that because I have m.s. I am somehow relegated - I am really not good enough for them.


whinge away! weddings and funerals-guaranteed to have families feeling let down/hurt/ignored… (nothing to do with ms!)

take care, ellie

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funerals and weddings bring out both the best and the worst in people

your folks will come round.

try not to dwell…


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I know very much how you feel. People’s reactions can be so hurtful. It is as if they assume that because we have a chronic condition, then we will always be on a downward slide and therefore not really worthy of too much thought. This can be very hurtful but the sad fact is that the joke’s on them as it shows how weak and uncaring some people can be. But don’t dwell too much on this as there is nothing that we can do about it and also there are PLENTY of caring folk.



your family have behaved badly.

you are on the higher moral ground so don’t dwell on the hurt they caused.

carole x

Some years ago disabled people were excluded from a lot of things - they weren’t encouraged to get married have children not seen as capable of getting work promotion or be an important part of the community etc. With legislation and the efforts of disabled people themselves things have improved a lot. However I wonder if some/many of the able-bodied have an in-built? prejudice against people with a disability.

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hi krak

it’s the old pick on the differences thing.

colour, race, religion. sexuality, disability.

you’re not like me and i’m wonderful so you must be rubbish.

fortunately i don’t come across many of those w*nkers.

carole x

well said Carole.

My lot think as long as there are agencies to muck me around, why do they need to do owt!


Good grief Ian, you’ve got me spitting blood within seconds of reading your post.

This is not down to you of course. It’s because I am sick to death of facing people’s negative superior attitudes. You’re not whingeing, you’re calmly stating your observations and questioning behaviours.

So many who claim to know me, still think a large part of my disability is in my head and that I’m a martyr to inertia. Travelling is tiring. It’s even worse for those of us with chronic fatigue. I’ll stop now as I’m getting a bit red.

Best wishes, Steve.

Steve - is his post meant for me - my name isn’t Ian…

Hi Krak

You will of course, henceforth be known as Ian. That’ll serve your selfish siblings right. I think I might start only answering to Ian myself where my brothers are concerned. Although that won’t cause any problems as they don’t bother calling me anything.


I know who you are Krak & sometimes family are arses, I’m glad to say you are my friend & if your lot don’t know that, they really are arses xx

Could be that they are all just in their own pain. Loss is a terrible thing, very individual.


Yes Krak. My brain often implodes.

I think siblings can be very cruel and thoughtless at times like this. I remember when I lost a very close relative and one of my siblings was so hurtful towards me, making the loss even harder.

Why can’t folks be kinder to each other, life is too short.