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Going to stop lurking and start living (undiagnosed)

Hi, As the title says I am not diagnosed but had recently become quite obsessed by things. I’ve read everything google had to offer, lurked here reading all your symptoms, some of which I can relate to, most of which I can’t although I can do a really good job of persuading myself I can.

It was waking in the night a few nights ago and getting in a panic over a pain here, then a twitch there, Oh my god it’s moved to the other leg now, you get the scenario, that caused me to give myself a very good talking to. In the cold light of day I can see how obsessed I had become. It was heading down a very dangerous path that I’m sure a lot of undiagnosed and Dr Google fans have also been down and maybe not just with MS.

I have possibly neglected my husband and marriage, not been so attentive to my children (older) and in general been tied up in my own little battle with myself that I realised life is moving on around me and I’ve been stuck and my symptoms are so mild.

I am now going to take my vitamin supplements, eat well, which I should have been doing anyway, make a quick note of any symptoms and then get on with whatever I was doing and not obsess about where it is, is it worse, it’s moved, was it my imagination. I’ve noted it, I’m not actually qualified to diagnose myself and to be frank, there is nothing I can do about it anyway at this point.

I’ve wasted months thinking of little else. Time that I won’t get back and cannot recreate. I’ve cleared my browsing history so that I won’t get related items showing, and I’m going to start making an effort to think of other things when the thoughts pop in my head. It’s surprising how some symptoms disappear when I don’t give them head space.

This is the only site I will be looking on but not every day. Sorry for dropping you all, I will be back with any diagnosis news but for now I need to leave the diagnosing to the experts and give my head and mind a rest…

Hello

It’s certainly a good plan to stop obsessively looking at symptoms and diagnosing yourself. As you’ve already figured out, googling and worrying isn’t healthy or helpful.

Writing a diary is a good way of keeping track of what is happening to you. If you get it written down (on paper or on a diary app, or just a word processing document) then you can often shift it out of your head and saved for when you might need it.

I assume you’ve seen your GP and maybe been referred to a neurologist? If not, maybe that’s another thing to set in train. Again, if you have started the ball rolling, you can stop worrying about it.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask them here. But well done for deciding to avoid health websites and worrying about your potential for neurological disease.

Sue

Hi

I wholeheartedly agree with you on so many levels.

Firstly, Dr Google, although can be useful for some searches , will only confuse or give you anxiety and added stress which you do not need . They are many different reasons for the body not functioning correctly so why upset yourself unnecessarily. Keep your GP abreast of the situation and keep a diary. Ask to speak to a consultant (if you haven’t already done so).

Secondly, although you feel in limbo and unsure of what causes the symptoms you experienced,you have great family support and no matter what you are still a wife and mother (essentially I’m saying you are still you!)

And thirdly , this forum will be here if you need us.

I don’t pretend to know everything (or really anything) about MS. I was only diagnosed last week but I replied to your post because I’ve been where you are and knocked myself mentally ill with worry by looking into the future and not focussing on the here and now.

Oh and can I say that Sue was one of the first people to reply to my first post . She is very knowledgeable and helpful.

Dear Anonymous

I can so relate to everything you have written. I too have been the same obsessing over symptoms and I have become withdrawn and anxious and not enjoying life. I too have decided to put this MS idea to the back of my mind for now and hopefully if the bulk of it is enhanced by anxiety things should get better…if not I WILL go to the doctors and be firmer with them.

With Christmas coming there is lots of extra things to think about so hopefully you will find it easier to be distracted.

I wish you well.

Dee