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Feeling lost and hopeless

Hi all, I’m new here. Sinice Dec 2015 I’ve been having real problems with my stomach! What started as a stabbing pain in one side (left side) had soon spread to my entire stomach. I saw the gp and was told it may be a urinary tract infection, I was given antibiotics and went on my way. By January the pain had worsend and was waking me up during the night (every night), eating makes the pain worse, so bad in fact that I’ve practically stopped eating for last 3 weeks and have lost 2 stone in 8 weeks. Since I was 16 I have suffered with sciatica on my left side, spent years on medications and being addicted into hospital for several pain, I also have spinal stenosis and a few torn disks (mri already done to confirm this), so when my legs and hips started to ache recently (last 18 weeks) I put it down to this, however the pain is different somehow, my hands and feet are tingling, my arms and/or legs will go dead and ache to the point I will be screaming in agony, my hands non longer grip things properly, I shake sometimes, my neck and jaw ache too. As well as the stomach pain andy limbs aching, I am tired all the time, just making aealing or doing domestic chores is exhausting. I can’t concentrate properly and my words keep coming out all mixed up or wrong and slurred. And my eyes ache and I’m always seeing things move out the corner of my eyes when they are not in fact moving. Some days I’m so bad I just cry all day, cry from the pain, cry from the exhaustion, cry with frustration. Now my balance is off and I keep falling over and have fallen down the stairs at home twice in one month. I’ve had 3 different lots of blood tests via my gp/hospital and the latest results are all clear (AGAIN). A friend of mine whose mom has MS said the symptoms sound similar to her mom’s. Which led me to start looking on the Internet. I’m so frustrated and feel like I can’t take anymore. I’ve gone from a healthy 28 year old to a sickly 29 year old and hardly leave my house anymore, I can’t enjoy life, I hardly eat, I sleep too much and don’t know how much more I can take now! My whole life has just stopped and I don’t understand what is happening to me! I dread waking up every morning and evening contemplated suicide. I know that might sound crazy but I don’t know what to do anymore! I just want my life back! I have two children aged 10 and 8 and I hate that they see me crying in pain every day and it’s causing a strain on my relationship too. I don’t see friends anymore and can’t enjoy even the simplest things. I don’t know if it’s MS I have but I just want it to stop! Any advice would be gratefully received x

Oh love! I don’t really know what to say, but couldn’t read your post and leave it unanswered.

Can I please ask you to leave gaps in between your lines, as I find it difficult to read when there​ are no gaps? Thanks hun.

Now, there is so much going on that I’m not surprised you feel so horrendously​ low.

You’ve got to get your GP to listen and refer you to specialists…maybe a neurologist, so that MS can be ruled out.

Dr Google isn’t our best port of call, as he can make our minds run riot.

Your family need you more than you realise. Please try not to think of harming yourself.

Love Poll sx

Hi,

Spinal stenosis will cause neurological problems, and constant pain will make you tired and effect your concentration.

Sitting might help relieve these symptoms but they’ll return with periods of standing or walking, which you’re bound to do with to kids to look after.

Try and rest as much as possible. Poll is so right, if you feel guilty and that you aren’t doing enough, remember that your family need you to look after yourself as much as they need you to look after them. You won’t be doing any favours by working yourself into the ground.

Talk to your GP about things to help you cope. If your GP won’t listen to you - dump him and get a new one.

I did.

Best wishes,

Anthony.

PS. Unless your friend is a neurologist, don’t pay any attention to what they say about MS. I guarantee they will be wrong.

Hi,

Thank you for posting and welcome to our community.

It sounds like this has been a tough time for you, and I wanted to let you know that you do not have to go through this alone. We are here for you and our Helpline Team can provide emotional support, a listening ear and general information relating to MS. You can get in touch on 0808 800 8000 or helpline@mssociety.org.uk

Please do get in touch, we are here for you and we can help.

Best wishes.

Oliver