It’s been forever since I’ve been on here, after my last relapse in March last year I ended up stopping going on a number of places online; I either just forgot about them entirely, or my executive dysfunction problems had me just looking at the bookmarks but unable to click on them, message not getting through! Recently I got a postcard from an online friend, and that triggered a connection and got me onto Skype again, and since then other people have helped me work around some of the other ED caused blocks by linking me to places. Hence me being able to see an old email from here in my inbox, so I got here by following the link in the mail. Wouldn’t it be amazing if all problems had such a simple fix?
Because it seems getting back on here is somewhat portentous. Saturday before last I FINALLY got my ESA assessment (it was April 2014 when I started on ESA)…it didn’t go well, not at all. The chap was nice, no complaints there, but I did very badly. My combination of brain problems meant I was totally unable to deal with the situation and give him the information that he needed. My information retrieval abilities in situations like that (as I know realise) are appalling; even with notes (they just confused me) I didn’t manage to tell him the things that he needed to know. Even when he asked questions that should have triggered the responses that he needed I failed completely.
For example, he asked if I had problems with fatigue, all I said to that was, “yes, always”, he didn’t ask me to elaborate so I didn’t. I didn’t tell him that mental activity like social interaction wipes me out completely, how I can barely think the next day.
So much stuff, but I’m struggling with getting this down so I’m not going to try and remember more, I need specific questions to be able to respond to, does anyone else have this issue? I can’t even answer something like, “what would you like to drink?”, it’s too big a question, I need closed questions like, “would you like a cup of tea?”, something that requires a yes or no answer.
ANYWAY…the point, I get there eventually…I was wholly expecting, because of my fail performance, that I’d end up in the WRAG, and was trying to prepare for appealing against that by getting some better notes together as it was plain to me that I need to write everything down as I think of the right words, and have someone read it. Because I’m never going to be able to explain things in a face to face situation, I just don’t have the processing speeds, word finding or information retrieval to be able to deal with questions that need immediate (and informative) answers.
I get a call from the DWP today…because of my assessment I’m judged as not being entitled to ESA at all, and it’s being stopped…I’ll get a letter in a few days to confirm this.The girl on the phone (she was nice) said the assessment mentions MS and memory problems, nothing else. So because of that I’m deemed as being able to do some kind of work…
Quietly falling apart here. Going to call a helpful lady that I saw at the job centre last year in a bit, and see if she has anything helpful to suggest. Just really want to talk to a professional I suppose, I need to find out what I need to do about informing the council about my situation change, are they gonna stop my housing benefit…urgh!
I SO don’t know what to do right now
So yay, welcome back me, right? Sorry to re-appear and drop this on you guys, but you will UNDERSTAND.