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end of my tether

My son has recently split with his girlfriend he is heartbroken , but I am trying to say yes I understand the pain but it could have been worse you could have had a family and all that complications his job is also on the line as he lived in Edinburgh but has to return back home to Glasgow and his work have said he will not get the shifts as he is potentially leaving, he can stay with my older son who also lives in Edinburgh until he finds something else. My issue is my hubby his family are pretty brutal in their comments about people but he doesn’t see this and wants me to visit them, he also wants he not to critise so if they insult any of my family and friends he thinks I should ignore it, thought if I took a back seat he would not have me to hide behind and he would see them for what they are, he also is struggling with my disability on holiday he rushed me onto a bus because I was taking too long and he didn’t want to wait for the next one he said you made, it but I said my confidence e was wrecked and he then said it is all my fault. I said we could go to a councillor and he said lot of rubbish, I also spoke to his friend who has known him since he was five to have a chat with him, when he found out he said we will never see them again I contacted the friend to say thanks but it isn’t going to work, I have also said lets split and he said he would be better off dead.

He hates his job and I have said we have no mortgage sell the house find a smaller job but he says no way so I am stuck, has anyone came across this and has anyone got any ideas he says I am selfish because I would rather struggle than be in a wheelchair but he doesn’t understand sitting hurts me and I can’t sit for long, neuros, physios and MS nurse say i am doing everything right at trying to keep MS in check.

trish

Sounds like your husband needs to take some steps to help himself and to support you, but sadly you can’t force people to seek or offer help if they’re not willing to try. There are no easy answers to this one, but you definitely need a giant hug xxxx

thanks Angela

My husbands family have had quite a bit of disability in it at one point he was the only able one his mum and brother are in wheelchairs they accept this however i don’t and i am told i am being selfish and thinking about myself, my MS councillor says it is self preservation,and if i don’t look after my self esteem nobody will. Everyone that i deal with both my family and friends and professional MS team say i am doing really well, he doesn’t realise if i give into MS i will be very depressed he said i am too hard on people when they talk to my husband instead of me, happened at Gatwick airport when i say speak to me he said that is hard and i caught a friend from church parked in a disabled spot and said if i had arrived after him i would have to abandon my journey and go home,again was told your too hard , last year we went on boxing day to his mums in one room was all the able bodied in the other room all the disabled, he came into the room and ask did i want him to get me food i wanted to cry and say i want home, i refuse to go back as they treat me like a disabled person that cannot think for herself, the truth is i live most of the week on my own and I have not been impacted by any cognitive issues so can look after myself I spoke today to his best friends wife to see if he would speak to him , when he found out his reaction was i never want to see my friend or his wife again so i phoned them back and said thanks but it will not work they like you think he needs to address this

thanks again

trish

That all sounds like really hard going. I am still at a very early stage of my “MS journey” but already can’t imagine how much harder it would be if my partner were not supportive. xx