Please help - I’m becoming a wreck… I have read about this ‘emotional crescendo’ symptom in the MS & Emotions factsheet. I’m worried because every time I have to deal with a difficult conversation and get angry/frustrated - usually at work - I burst into uncontrollable tears and can’t get my point across. Not very professional and I’m sure my boss sees me as weak. I think it may have worsened following a family bereavement in June. Had to stay strong for other family members and tears now seem more unstoppable than then. I have resorted to officially disclosing at work now and putting my concerns about work issues in writing to my boss. Does anyone else have this symptom? Any suggestions? I am hoping to try LDN - seeing GP on Monday. I was diagnosed 3 years ago now so don’t think it’s related to getting the news. Is counselling the answer? Think I’d feel a fraud as apart from a slight limp my symptoms are invisible. Thanks for any thoughts on this.
Please call our helpline any time you want to discuss your feelings and (perfectly understandable) emotional response to aspects in your personal life. 0808 800 8000
Counselling would be a positive step forward- and you may feel much better for making that step. Why would you feel a fraud? Your emotions are real right now and you wish to explore/manage them- that enough reason. Whether or not your symptoms are visible is not something you should consider when contemplating counselling. That’s not the issue.
With regards to work- contact the Disability Law Service who provide free, confidential, legal advice for people with MS- 020 7791 9800 (press option1).
Don’t be hard on yourself. It sounds like it’s been a tough time.
If your boss sees you as weak, then he/she wouldn’t be a very caring, understanding individual. It’s a good thing that you have disclosed your MS at work as you may get a bit more support and understanding now. Give your boss a bit of time to digest the information and then maybe arrange a quiet time to sit down and discuss things (take a box of tissues just in case) to clear the air. I’ve had to do this a couple of times at work and it really does help so everyone knows what they can do to help in a practical way.
I lost my mum 21 months ago and it was well over a year before I could stop crying at silly little things that reminded me of her. You only suffered a bereavement in June so it’s going to be raw pain for a while yet, hun, give it time. Your emotions will be all over the place for a while yet. I promise, it does get easier. You never forget your loved ones and you never stop missing them but it doesn’t hurt so much.
Like you, when I get angry but can’t express that anger because it’s in a professional environment so I can’t rant like I would want to then it comes out as tears. I find it very embarrassing but it seems that the emotion has to have an outlet so they’re more frustrated tears than sad tears. Then I can’t get the words out to explain why I’m sobbing so much. (Sometimes when someone makes me cross at work it reminds me of my mum as she wanted to come into work and hit my previous manager with her walking stick, bless her!! My only regret is that I didn’t let her!)
I was diagnosed 4 years ago and I always used to be the strong one in my family but now I’m often a blubbering wreck. Even my son has noticed and comments on it. He tells me that I never used to cry so much but I can’t seem to help it any more. I’m sure MS messes with our emotions and coupled with the fatigue and all the other problems it brings with it (like sleeping problems), I’m sure this is what causes it.
Take care, message me if you want to chat
Maybe counselling would help. You won’t know until you give it a try. Several people on here say it was really beneficial. Your GP or MS nurse can arrange it for you.
Way back, I had a session with the hospital psychologist. She sketched out a horizontal line on a graph to illustrate the usual background level of life’s stresses - normal everyday background stress levels. She drew parallel line some way above it to indicate a person’s emotional breaking point. The gap between the lines was the emotional headroom a person has to deal with ‘spikes’ of major stress incidents on top of the normal background level. As long as the big spikes in stress stay within that space, we can deal with them without falling apart. Then she drew a third horizontal line between the two and said, ‘That is your new, higher, background level, because you now have MS. If you find you are reaching emotional breaking point over things that you would previously have taken in your stride, that is why. Your normal background level of stress has just got higher. You have less headroom before you snap. So do not worry if you lose it more than you used to. That’s OK. You will learn to deal with it.’
I found that very useful!
Thank you for your comments. It helps to know other people are / have been in same boat. Really like the parallel lines concept. My base stress level is definitely raised. The box of tissues is a good plan. I plan to contact my MS nurse about LDN so I will also mention the possibility of counselling. Seeing my GP next week so will also mention to her. Fingers crossed. Thanks again - love this forum. Don’t post often but when I do the advice is always helpful.
This happens to me too. I didn’t link it to MS, but last night I was talking to hubby about my fears, and he said that I explode over simple things, and that my ability to think of the simple solution isn’t there any more. Coming to think of it, I am generally more on edge now.
I’m happy as a pig in poo at work (self employed, love being a photographer), and when weight training, but things like cooking meals make me mad. I’m so impatient.
Had a meeting with my boss today. Managed with only 1 tissue when talking about some personal stuff. Impressed myself! Didn’t get everything agreed but hopefully some steps in the right direction and she now is aware of my feelings. All advice much appreciated. Xx
I really empathise. So frustrating to not be in control of emotions, especially when at work etc. I think it is very interesting that you mention your symptoms are invisible. I struggle with lots of symptoms, but currently look ok most of the time. I recently met 3 others with MS and all struggled every day, but on the outside looked so well. It made me realise how important it is to explain to friends/work etc how you feel. Counselling should really help - take all the support/tips on coping you can get!
Had first apt to talk about counselling today. Ended up being lots about family bereavement and emotions this has triggered. Have been referred for further ‘interpersonal ???’ (can’t remember that word) to explore this area more as he feels this has caused me to reach my limit after a few very stressful years. Low level depression can stall grieving process apparently… Fingers crossed it helps. Thanks for your comments. xx
Hope it helps, you’ve had a lot to cope with.