Hi. I am new to this site. I am 39 years old. I have 5 kids and a lovely wife. I was diagnosed in October 2010 with relapsing remitting MS and have been lucky enough to have only 1 major relapse since. I am on Techfidera (not sure that’s spelt correctly) and its doing great things for me.
My family life is very hard going at times. I have 4 kids that live with me full-time. My wife works full-time from midday until 8pm. I work full-time but get to work from home 1 or 2 days a week. Our life is incredibly busy and i do struggle to keep all the plates spinning. That said i know most people have to do exactly the same (albeit usually with not as many kids).
I am on anti-depressants to help me cope with the mood swings that MS brings. This has helped a lot and i feel i have a better balance now. My wife suffers from Crohns disease and this was very bad a few years ago, she has just been told she is in remission. These years took a lot out of us as we were looking after the kids and trying to hold it all together. We are in quite a lot of debt due to this period but are just coming out of the tunnel now as we both work full-time.
I find myself numb to a lot of emotional feelings. My sex drive has decreased massively. My wife says i do not give her the support she needs as a partner sexually or emotionally. I feel i should be getting more upset that I am not being what i need to be as a husband or a parent and be making more of an effort. I do my best but by the end of the day i am so tired that i have little left to give in the way of compassion, emotion and intimacy. I do feel like a failure a lot of the time, but even so i don’t get as upset as i should and feel numb to it. This upsets my wife and i am really not surprised. I wonder if i am different to many other MS sufferers? Sometimes i don’t have the drive to make the effort to mend things that are really important to me. Its so depressing when i do this as this is so different to the old me. I feel i am a good person but these things don’t look the actions of a good person.
My kids don’t get the best of me though i do make the effort and take them out a lot. One of my kids is very hard work with behavioural issues. This i find very, very hard to deal with. I have been as patient as possible but i feel i have reached my limit. This creates arguments with my wife and damages our relationship.
All in all, i feel that i am struggling to keep things in order and wonder what i can do to make my life less stressful? MS and stress really breaks me down and whilst i love my family to bits this life is becoming very difficult to maintain. I would welcome any feedback on whether these things i am feeling are normal and any tips on how to reduce stress in my life with MS.
I feel like i am losing a battle here against MS and life in general at times. Sorry if i sound very self pitying, its just been very tough and i haven’t reached out like this before to a group. Maybe this is something i should have done a long time ago.