Forum

Denial

I want to get on with my life as best I can but everyone around me has accepted whats wrong with me and are all being so supportive but I just cant seem to accept it. I have this idea that i’ll wake up and be fine or my docs will say we got it wrong take this pill and u’ll be back to how you used to be. I was excited about getting my wheelchair as i’ve been house bound for months but now its here I just can’t bring myself to use it, its like if I udr it then its all real ! I wanna pull myself together but I really don’t know how ?? Any advice (or a wake up slap lol) would be so appreciated Krissy :slight_smile: xx

Be thankful that you’re still here. I know it sounds silly, but everything could be much worse. I always try and think of something that I definitely wouldn’t want and it reminds me to be thankful for what I do have. You can still get out and about. You’re still here to be with family and you’ve still got a life to live. Some days are gonna be harder than others. Some days you’ll feel great, others you won’t. But just be glad that the health you’ve got isn’t something completely terminal.

Lots of hugs and wishes your way,

Tsuki xxx

Thank you so much tsuki your so right ! I have two small boys and I get to play and laugh with them everyday, for that I am eternally thankful and thats what I will focus on :-)) Krissy xx

It’s ok. Sometimes we need someone that doesn’t know us to point out what is right with our lives. Just glad you have something to focus on like 2 boys. I have yet to get diagnosed and yet to even start my own family yet. But days for both will come soon :slight_smile:

Take care Tsuki xxx

Hello Krissy. I’ve only just recently been diagnosed (august). I too have very good support which is of course helpful. What your going through now Krissy is a process of grieving…it may even help you to have a bit of a read round that subject. It will help you to understand that there is a process that all people who grieve go through and not always in the order thats written in books. Part of that process is feeling anger,fear,loss, acceptance etc. Just be kind to yourself Krissy, take it one day at a time. Your MS is unique to you, you’ll get there in your own good time. Lots of hugs, Noreen

Hi Jen and Noreen, Yea the wheelchair is good but I can only go out occassionally as we have a baby (well 15 month old) thats still in a pram and my husband cares for us single handed, plus our other children (although he is going to get help for a cpl hrs a week soon) and we have no babysitters and as my hands are really bad I cant wheel myself but its better than never getting out. Noreen u hit the nail on the head ! I have been trying to explain to my husband how I feel and yea it is like im greiving the life I used to have, the mom my boys should have etc and then I feel selfish for feeling like that lol im all over the place, my husband suggested asking for a counsellor so I will give it a go. Thank you so much for your time it helps just to know someone cares enough to take time out of their day to give me advice Hugs Krissy xxx

Tsuki, Im sure u’ll get your answers eventually and I wish you luck on starting a family in the future Krissy xx

Your more than welcome Krissy. The couselling is an excellent idea…maybe your husband could go with you if only to the first. All the best, Noreen

Thanks Krissy. I hope I get answers soon too. Starting to develop more and more symptoms the longer my wait has gone for my first neuro appointment. Still a long road ahead, but at least I’m on it.

Really great idea with the counselling. I’ve been thinking about going recently, although I’ve got really good support with my partner, family and my GP so I’m waiting a little bit longer. Maybe do a family one as well and that can help with the whole family. Unfortunately these things affect everyone around, a lot of things do, but nothing can stop a family who care and love much for one another.

Tsuki xxx

Hello Tsuki. Are you handling things ok? Its a lot to cope with isn’t it. I have a lot of support also but sometimes its hard to put into words how one is really feeling to the people that are closest. Take care,

I know what u mean about waiting Tsuki as I was waiting for an nhs neuro I was getting more and more symptoms at the time of my referal it was just my legs that were causing problems but as I was waiting it progressed into hands arms etc so in the end my parents used their savings to help me get a private appointment, if it wasn’t for them I would be waiting till feb next year ! I sympathise wholeheartedly and while I cannot physically help you I am here if you eant to chat. Krissy xxx

Krissy,

call it denial or just call it plain old hope, I can’t help but think things might get a little better (I’m likely PPMS) so you are not alone on that one!

I am still able to walk with a stick but not very far… and I will keep trying cos I know if I just give in, it will all get worse… I don’t think it’s complete denial Krissy and I don’t think anyone who doesn’t go thru the day to day struggles can ever really understand it.

But I don’t think there’s really anything wrong with trying to stay hopeful, I think that possibly my naive attitude is why some people think I’m brave and it’s not that either, it’s just trying to make best and trying not to let MS swamp EVERYTHING that my life is.

Take care Krissy, this place gives the best support I’ve found yet and I can’t advise you, I think a lot of us are in the same boat :wink:

Sonia x