I have been reading about dementia lately, as a friend has developed it.
Although aggression and personality changes are possible later in the disease, I think they are unlikely to be among the first things you’d notice.
My friend is very forgetful - particularly about recent things, including things we’ve only just talked about! She’s also easily disoriented in unfamiliar places, and sometimes even familiar ones - she couldn’t find my house last week, which she has known for years!
Apart from the geography, her long term memory is still OK - she does still remember how we met, although it’s years ago now, and she remembers I got ill with MS - which was more than three years ago. I was surprised she still remembered some of my symptoms. She said: “Your feet hurt, don’t they?”
I have yet to experience any aggression from her, but based only on what she’s told me, I think there have been problems with family - but ONLY because it can be so challenging and frustrating living with someone who forgets things all the time. I’m not aware of any out-of-character anger or physical confrontations - at least, not coming from her side. I think those in daily contact with her sometimes get cross, but not that she is the aggressor. I’ve not seen any examples, anyway - the memory problems, however, are very apparent, and well beyond ordinary absent-mindedness.
The only other case I’ve direct experience of was my grandad. He did become aggressive, but only after he’d been deteriorating for some years. Luckily, by the time the physical aggression started, he was too frail and uncoordinated to do much harm - my nanna was able to sidestep him easily. But I remember none of this in the early years. He used to get mixed up with our names, and then it progressed to difficulty with things he used to be good at, such as DIY.
I’m not saying there isn’t anything wrong. I just think that if it was a type of dementia, memory problems would have been more apparent first.
I do agree with previous replies that you need a professional opinion. But that will be quite hard, if he doesn’t recognize there’s a problem. My friend did respond to the concerns of family, and acknowledges things aren’t right herself. This meant it could be investigated. I’m not sure what would have happened if she’d just refused.
Tina
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