Does anyone else have a problem with lack of support?
I’m a couple of weeks away from finding out whether I have MS or if it’s an ‘M.E flare up’. I’m having real trouble with my dad right now. He is very dismissive of me, and thinks everything is in my mind. He thinks that M.E is pyscological anyway, and I should just ‘get on with it’. I’m on some medication for pain relief and he also has told me to stop taking them because ‘pills aren’t good for you’. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this?
Also on a side note: When I had my MRI as soon as I came out of the scanner the technician helped me sit up and asked immediatly if I have a follow up appointment with the consultant. I said not yet, and he told me to make one. He then asked me several times if I was okay and stood behind me supporting me all the way out of the room! He was probably just a caring person, but has anyone else been told to see the neuro when having their MRI?! I can’t help thinking it might be because he saw something come up on the screen.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramble! x
Hi, I can see why you feel worried re the radiologist urging you to see a neuro. But I dont think that in itself is something to worry about. I`ve had it said to me and there were no lesions to be seen.
I think you were being helped by a very caring person.
Having said that, there could be a reason why he said it.
Besides, we do need to have an appointment with a neuro following an mri.
Your results will be sent to your GP, so if you dont hear from the neuro in about 3 weeks, ask your GP.
Regards your main reason for posting and your dad`s lack of concern about your illness/condition.
I cant tell from your post, if you are male or female. if you are a man, is your dad very macho and wants his som to follow suit?
If you are a lady, then I would think your dad would be more concerned. But maybe he just is the way he is, regardless of the gender of his offspring.
Maybe when you get a formal diagnosis, your dad will think differently.
Meantime, I would keep quiet about feeling ill.
luv Pollx
The thought that his child might be ill in a way that he cannot help will fill most fathers with dismay and fear. Denying that there is anything much amiss is the way some people deal with this. They aren’t doing it on purpose, but they are doing it, and it can feel like a slap in the face, even though the person isn’t doing it on purpose - he is just desperately trying to believe that there is nothing wrong. This is a very common response among the people who love us most, and it is amazing how stoutly some people cling to this position in the teeth of all evidence to the contrary! Is it possible that there is something of that sort going on here? If you think this sounds like your father, please try to be patient with him.
If you feel he genuinely believes that you are making this stuff up, well, I am not sure that you can do much about that except try to shrug it off and not waste too much precious energy worrying about it.
On the MRI thing - no idea. Time will tell. What I will say is that, when we are on hyper-full-alert, trying to figure out what is wrong, we are more inclined than usual to add two and two and make five. Try not to over-analyse if you can help it. ‘Just sit quietly and let the thing go on,’ is usually the best thing to do at a time like this. Easier said than done, I know!
Alison
Hi, I think, radiologists ask if you have a follow up appointment as a matter of course. After I had my head MRI, I answered no, and the radiologist just replied OK.
It turned out that I had multiple lesions, and was later diagnosed with MS. What I’m trying to say is that I dont think you should read anything into the radiologist’s response. I certainly didn’t get any indication from mine that anything was wrong!
As for your Dad’s response, it may be just as Alison has said. How is he in general? My mum has always been the same, not very supportive and I’m afraid nothing has changed since diagnosis. I think you have to take people as they are, if your Dad is usually kind and supportive, I’m sure he’ll be the same when you find out whats wrong.
Thanks for all your replies.
Boudica- I’m female, and yes I think it’s just the way he is.
Alison100 - You’re right, I tend to over-analyse things anyway, so now when I don’t know what’s going on I’m even worse.
Daisyn- Sorry you’re mum isn’t very supportive.And yes I’m sure they wouldnt even want to give you any indication whether they spotted something or not- it’s not their job. Hmm. I guess I was just wondering out loud.
I guess the prospect of them not finding something is pretty unbearable to me - not because I’m some psycho and want some terrible disease but because my GP told me if the scan doesn’t show lesions she’s got no clue what could possibly be wrong with me - I’ve had wrenching pains down my neck and arm for every day of 3 months now and a brisk reflex in that arm.
But if nothing shows up the neuro will chuck me in the M.E/CFS dustbin!
Anon I know what you mean about wanting to find something and not. When youre in a lot of pain daily, you want to know what it is so it can be treated. I am sorry about your dad. I have psoriatic arthritis and I dont get a lot of support myself. I think if those people could be in your shoes they would get a massive shock! Perhaps in time your dad could be more understanding, but whats more important at this time is you taking care of yourself. As for the comment after your test, it doesnt mean one thing or another. After my daughters mri on her head, i was asked if she had a follow up appointment, and everything turned out fine x
Hi I had a relapse in June put of the blue having never been ill before my right side stopped working. I had to live with my parents as they thought I was putting it on the hospital said it was stress just having had a baby and leaving my husband and it was blooming hard. Another bad attack in nov and I was diagnosed my dad was with me in hospital when I wS told. And then he came to my neuro appointment with me where the neuro told my dad that I’d had 2 bad relapses and needed lots of rest and time to try and recover a bit from the relapses. He asked so pushing her won’t improve her and got a definite no. My family have since been brilliant having had stuff explained in detail. He also asked why I’m sore so much and she explained it brilliantly. I’m really close to my family but don’t always agree. Hope this helps. Sorry for your diagnosis. X