Hi everyone

Just a little moan here,I have been quite ill in hospital with a Single Demylinating episode ,was in for about a month ,that was six months ago I am only just getting back to work on a phased return(very gradual)…

Some colleagues who work on the ward that I do have said that the ward manager(cruella deville)has made comments about me since my return like"Idont know what shes here for"…its so demorilising for me as im trying my best to get back to some kind of normality ,I have to take it really steady as i have balance and fatigue issues so these comments are no good for my confidence,feel like telling them to stuff the job.Dont know wether to rise above the comments or confront her , any advice would be greatly appreciated

Debs xxx

What is it that you do, are you a nurse? Get in touch with your occupational health people, explain what has/is happening, and take advice from them, they may be able to find you a more suitable role, or help you to do your current job. Do not walk out of the job, you will get no help from the government, and it will be extremely difficult to find another job.

Think that it might be worth having a quiet word with Cruella, to let her know that you are aware of her catty remarks, and point out that her attitude does nothing to help your recovery and your reintegration back into the team - this obviously a stressful situation that you’ve found yourself in, and we all know what stress makes (not prizes!). If that doesn’t work, you can then go to her superior and explain the situation, and what you have done to try to rectify it. Write everything down - dates, conversations, remarks made. It sounds really petty, but you’ll need it if this goes any further.

Hope you get sorted out,

Luisa x

Hi Debs,

it’s really upsetting when someone at work is making catty remarks behind your back (or even to your face)

Luisa has given good advice about keeping records because it’s so easy to forget things and you may need to raise a grievance in the future.

The best advice I can give is that you should only do what is best for YOU.

Walking out on your job is a knee jerk reaction and will only hurt you – Cruella won’t be affected at all. It’s hard to plaster a smile on your face but if that’s what it takes ……… sod them, you have every right to ease back into work and to pick up your pay check.

Every time you feel undermined imagine the money in your mind’s eye.

Keep your chin up.


Hi Debs,

I agree with Jane - do what is best for you. However, as you slowly recover and feel stronger physically and emotionally you may regret giving up your job due to one persons ignorance.

I hope my own experience gives you some hope. I had a terrible year 2009/2010 and was off work for approx 6 months. I am pleased to tell you that I have now been back at work for a full year now. Like you, I took things really slowly at the start. Some collegues were not as supportive as they could have been, including my headteacher. However, i pushed for adjustments through Access to Work and dug my heels in. It was tough but looking back worth it. I still have my job (teacher), salary and a purpose. I love my job and get so much out of it. If you love your job and want to keep it then dig your heels in.

Good Luck!

Carol Anne


Thank you Luisa,Jane and Carol Anne

Your replies are very helpful and reassured me that I`m not going mad.

I was a little apprehensive about putting the post on , but I`m glad I did now as it was very helpful advice Thanks again ,I guess peoples ignorance gets in the way of common sense sometimes,think she may be a little embarrased to see me the way I am at the moment as i have been lucky to have been fit and well in all the time I have known her (14yrs +)she may feel a little awkward I guess, oh well I wont make any more excuses up for her and I think its best to take every day as it comes and try to rise above it all…

I will log anything that I hear and report it. Carol your message makes me realise that there may be light at the end of my tunnel I too enjoy my job ,when I`m firing on all cylinders ,watch this space

Debs xx

Thanks thats an idea afraid my manager /Ward Sister is a little OLD SCHOOL and set in her ways with a BIG reputation, if youre not fully fit you shouldnt be at work mentality,also she`s not far off retirement so by the time I feel stronger she may be on her way (with a bit of luck)


Hi Debs,

Sounds to me that Cruella de Ville is not as good a manager as she seems to think she is!! Isn’t part of management to ensure your staff have the support & back up that they need? Aren’t they supposed to be a team leader?

I’d do what others have suggested and keep notes - just in case you should need to take the matter further.

Maybe leave a few bits of information dotted around for her to read too. Ignorance is a terrible thing and she really should know better in her position.

I sincerely hope that she’s not struck down with sickness - she may find no one there to support her on her return if she carries on in this fashion.

Good luck Debs - I hope things get better for you, don’t let her grind you down because you don’t need or deserve it.

Debbie xx

Hi Debbie Thanks for the advice,shes the type of person who turns up for work ill and we all have to suffer so I suppose that says a lot about her way of thinking,I must say that it has knocked my confidence and made me feel a bit inadequate but I am determined to get stronger and more able to cope with the very hurtful comments,afterall 6mths ago I was walking with a stick and being pushed around in a chair so to get back to work is a major event for me,I’ll show her Debsx