THE TRADITIONAL STORY OF THE THREE BEARS
IS BEING CHALLENGED
A far more accurate account of
the events of that fateful morning…
Baby bear goes downstairs,
sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is
empty. 'Who’s been eating my
porridge?’ he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the
big table and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl and it
is also empty. 'Who’s been eating
my porridge??’ he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head
through the serving hatch from
the kitchen and yells, 'For God’s
sake, how many times do I have
to go through this with you idiots?
It was Mummy Bear who got up
first. It was Mummy Bear who
woke everyone in the house. It was
Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded
the dishwasher from last night and
put everything away. It was
Mummy Bear who swept the floor
in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear
who went out in the cold early
morning air to fetch the newspaper
and croissants. It was Mummy
Bear who set the damn table.
’It was Mummy Bear who walked
the bloody dog, cleaned the cat’s
litter tray, gave them their food,
and refilled their water.
’And now that you’ve decided to
drag your sorry bear ass
downstairs and grace Mummy
Bear with your grumpy presence,
listen carefully, because I’m only
going to say this once…
’I HAVEN’T MADE THE
F***ING PORRIDGE YET’