I suspect that there is partly a male/ female thing going in here, as both Poll and Mick have said.
Saying that though, I was horribly embarrassed to be using a stick originally. Then a crutch, then two crutches. And as for a wheelchair, I hated, absolutely hated to be seen in one for the first couple of years when I used it occasionally, and for at least the first year when I had to use it full time. I felt embarrassed and humiliated by it. Don’t ask me why, I’d never thought any less of people in wheelchairs before.
So as for ‘accepting’ the condition, I didn’t. Not for the first 10 years after diagnosis. And not even then properly for the first couple of years after I became more seriously, and more visibly, disabled.
I don’t know if there is a way to ‘help someone come to terms with the condition’. It’s a very personal thing, and for a private, even quite proud man, it is going to take a long time, and I dare say is something that ultimately he will have to discover on his own terms and in his own time.
The problem for you meanwhile, is that while he has MS, what he perhaps hasn’t taken note of is that you have to live with it too. And until he does ‘come to terms’, you are stuck too.
One of the most difficult things for a private person is the bowel and bladder issues. I was always the most private of people, I wouldn’t dream of discussing my bowels with anyone. It took years for me to discuss my bowels with my GP, let alone with my OH. These days I talk about it all, with virtually anyone. I have gone from intensely private over such matters, to out and proud. But, I don’t think anyone could have helped me to become more open. I just know that I’m happier now that I can talk about it.
Maybe one of the ways of helping him is to suggest he start reading some of the posts on here. He doesn’t have to join, or to post anything himself. It’s an open forum, so people can read posts without ever having to join in. If he later felt that he could, maybe then he could join. It’s a supportive network. And it’s possible that by reading other people’s experiences, he could find his own way to acceptance of his MS.